Shaken Not Stirred

Back again

2009-10-14T23:08:00.003-07:00

Haha. I'm back on Blogspot. =P

I miss sharing videos and music. And tumblr was too limited in terms of design.

Slow

2009-10-13T11:11:00.000-07:00

Tuesday blues.

In the morning Q spent 1.5 hours going through 12 self-explanatory slides. But it's okae, since he's over 60 already. But 2.30pm, FYQ was really killing me. 4 hours of time wasted on "who are the consultants" and so many inconsequential examples. insulting our intelligence or what?

Hai. I could stay at home and digest everything in 15 minutes. 8 hours of my time are spent on seminars without really increasing any value to my HR knowledge.

Hate Tuesdays.

Online Collaboration has officially started. Have bad feeling about my group. I realised that I'm not a good follower. HAI.

P&G has yet to accept me. Unilever has yet to reject me.

HAI.

Let's stop poking fun at Ris Low lar. How deeply can a 19 year old go?

The replacement girl looks.... I shan't comment but standards are dropping year by year. In terms of looks, character, attitude, the X factor.

It's about time xiaolee takes charge of things. haha. Ms Singapore 2010.

The Random

2009-10-12T09:43:00.000-07:00

Im super pissed with my dog, who chewed up the 5th pair of my shoes. Not like I have a lot of shoes to begin with. But I'm even more pissed with my dog's owner, who, after 4 pairs of shoes have been chewed up, can still forget to keep her shoes properly.

GRRRRR. STOP CHEWING UP MY SHOES!

I left my HP802 lecture during break time after handing in the assignment, so that I could go to the library to read journal articles. On my way to the library, I saw this cute guy sitting outside LT4. For a moment, I thought he was my eye candy.

And then upon closer look, it was boyfriend.

I'm not exactly a very good girl when it comes to answering phone calls and replying sms-es. I can take up to a day to reply calls and sms-es. I'm always going to places without bringing my phones, or sometimes with a dead battery. When I'm busy, I forget that I actually own a phone. And so I didn't know that he would be waiting for me outside the LT for my lecture to end.

And if I had just walked a little faster, I would have walked past him. Is this FATE that I saw him? haha.

I guess if it is, then I've fallen in love again.

We went for an early dinner, and he looked like an excited little boy today, holding his Mega Mac tray. His first Mega Mac meal. I wished I've got a camera there and then to capture that look.

It's very cute.

Is it that hard?

2009-10-11T11:32:00.000-07:00

Is it that hard to talk to Xiao Lee?

Question: Are you interested in coming for my cousin's wedding on the evening of 16th October 2009 in Malaysia?

Your answer day 1: I ask my parents.

Your answer day 2: I forgot to ask.

Your answer day 3: My parents said "go for what".

Your answer day 4: Weddings are fun, but I don't like to feel that I'm tagging along. and my dad said that if more people go for wedding w/0 informing the bride and the groom, it might mess up the seating arrangement. Then again 1 person shouldnt be too difficult to squeeze in.

Is it that hard to answer this question in a straightforward manner without any prompt?

This is a simple MCQ when any of the choices below can be correct.

1) Yes.

2) No.

3) Others: Please give a score out of 10.

How complicated am I to you? Then again, how important are my questions to you? How important am I to you? Or is it time to reflect upon my communication deficiency?

I'm not forcing you to go even. I just need an answer to make the necessary arrangements. How bout that.

"Are you interested in marrying me?"

I shudder as I think of the answers that I might receive. Haha.

人質

2009-10-10T22:41:00.000-07:00

The lyrics of this song seems almost perfect to describe my relationship now... describe my feelings on my relationship.

我和你啊存在一种危险关系
彼此挟持这另一部份的自己
本以为这完整了爱的定义
那就乖乖的守护着你

相爱变成猜忌怀疑的烂游戏
规则是要憋著呼吸越靠越近
但你的温柔是我唯一沉溺
你是爱我的就不怕有缝隙

在我的心上用力的开一枪
让一切归零在这声巨响
如果爱是说什么都不能放
我不挣扎反正我也没差

人质在这一刻得到释放
真爱的纯粹落得如此下场
你满意吗我们都别说谎

There are times when, I don't know.
Work comes first and let's forget the rest for a moment.

I don't want to work.

2009-10-10T08:35:00.000-07:00

Finally, we've decided to dive into the concept of brand inertia in our FYP. And Dr Khoo wants us to each read 15 journal articles by next week and tabulate their main arguments and limitations.

I'm at article 1. Help!!! Journal articles make me sleepy... all the time.

Hyflux is due on 26th Oct. I need to read 3 of their annual reports to summarise some trends. HELP! Annual reports are so boring to read! grrr...

I went to the gym on fri and my muscles are aching again. HELP!

We went to Zirca on Friday too and took lots of photos! Unfortunately none with Mr Singapore. But Mr Singapore finalist was not bad also lar. Reached home about 4am.

I've so much work to do but I don't really want to work. Times like these, I don't want to use my brains anymore.

Haiz. Sometimes I wish I wasnt the top 10% or something, working so hard now. Just some dumb kid who drops out and gets into mischief all the time. If so, I should be married by now, and perhaps is working as a salesgirl selling Care Bears and flowers. It's interesting to think about how life would turn out very differently but we can still find some happiness within our reach.

I don't mind selling flowers too. Yellowlee is the shop name.

Time to work.

Next week: HP802 assignment due, Rescue KIWI in Cesim, 15 Journal Articles, 3 Annual Reports.

Aftermath.

2009-10-08T09:30:00.000-07:00

This week is THE bloody week. For the past 4 days I've been spending loads of time in the toilet.

Horrible week which did not allow me to have any proper breakfast at all. Every bit of anything I eat would probably bypass the tummy and instestines and come out almost immediately. And following that, headache for the rest of the day.

Monday was the worst day when I had to miss school. Tuesday the same thing happened. but tue was super long. Didnt want to miss 2 seminars so I still went. Wed was a bit better but the headache lasted till night. Then today was the worst.

I had Asian Paints presentation. Woke up at 7am, early enough to have a good breakfast and put some makeup before taking a leisurely walk to school. Rehearsed my speech while eating breakfast. Then just as I swallowed 2 bites of bao and sipped some coffee, I could feel my tummy churning. Went in and out of the toilet twice. came out a totally different person with wobbly legs and headache.

I was so scared I would faint or something. went in a third time and I sat till 8.20am. forced myself out and got mum to drive me to sch. Then we reached at 8.32am. My gosh. I wanted to rush into the seminar room, but my tummy couldnt take it. I rushed to the toilet first. 4th time.

When I finally went to class, Shell was just about to finish her section. That moment was... I was so relieved. and few seconds later, I was presenting. Then after the preso, I rushed to the handicap toilet again and sat there again until it was safe to come out.

Felt super tired, angry and guilty. That amount of stress was simply mad. The rushing when your stomach refuses to co-operate, just crazy. Presenting without thinking, crazy. Talking about International business but thinking about tummy ache, crazy. I looked myself in the mirror and the weakling in me felt like crying. Super bad day.

Went for lunch, then met up for BM315. This is going to be due on 26th October.

Slept through the first half of Chevron's talk at 4.30pm.

The headache stays.

Worst day of my ntu life probably.

this is so much worse than PMS.

But in the afternoon I was quite happy.

I saw my eye candy at IT Lab 3. Me hq and pj went to reading room but decided to go FAL, then FAL had no seats so we went to IT Lab 1 and 2 but still no seats and when we ended up in IT Lab 3 he was there! Remind me that I don't believe in fate haha. He's very cute.

somehow seeing him has became one big motivation for going school these days. although he's like super thin... dunno if his gf is taking good care of him. I secretly wish for him to be very... its a secret wish for him =)

Sometimes, I wonder if I'm anyone's eye candy. HAHAHA, crazy. but wont it be nice if just the sight of me is good enough to cheer someone up? in return, please wish some good thoughts for me lol. I know I'm my bf's eye noodle. Hahaha. Okae let it stay that way at least.

Ten Reasons Why I Hate Projects

2009-10-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

This is going to be bad. I know that being a team player is what employers look for nowadays.

But sometimes, I really hate projects.

I hate it when we cant reach conclusions, when the information gaps make evaluation difficult, when everyone has so much to do that we can't find time until the very last minute, that the assumptions are so gross, that I can't see the big picture.

I hate projects because they take up so much time and I don't necessarily learn more.

I hate it when I have to contribute more than others. I also hate it when I can't contribute as much as others.

I hate it when I have to do it on a busy day. I hate it when I have to do it on a free day. I hate it when I have to do it.

I hate it when we try to please the tutor more than we learn.

I hate it most when it takes away my work-life balance. Even when I sleep I think about Asian Paints and Fast Cat and Hyflux. There's so much beyond xiaolee's control.

Give me tutorials. Give me thick textbooks to mug. Give me examinations. Let me write term papers.

Just don't ask me to do projects.

I'm so sick of projects.

I'm so sick.

I'm sick.

I am.

What I really want to do now is to take out my textbook to mug. You spend 3 days mugging for a 3 hour paper which determines 50% of your grade. vs you spend 3 weeks doing up a 10 min presentation which takes up 10% of your grade. I think exams are more worth it.

Okae. Enough of rambling.

Good luck to Team Kiwi tmr.

Kiwi fruit is the nutrition powerhouse of all fruits.

Thank you!

2009-10-06T11:48:00.000-07:00

Like how I planned for Bintan 1 day before setting off, I planned for my bf's birthday bash on Sunday afternoon.

It all started because E couldnt attend, and qiren,xh and ll almost couldnt make it on Sunday and he was rather emo. And I hate to see that face. the mixture of self-doubt and disappointment. Luckily qiren and xinhao came. but anyway, i decided that mebbe it would be nice to have a surprise bash in singapore!

So i jumped right into it. spent sunday's tuition texting people to see if they are free. Sun went to jb to eat. came back on sun night and mass emailed everyone. Mon, rushed for replies, delegated duties, dragged myself to shopping spree at JP, and he chose a gigantic 1 TB hard disk and a book. Tue morning, ordered cake, booked tables.

Tada!

Dear said I got A-. I want to appeal.

HOW CAN I GET MINUS!?!? I asked and he said i spent too much =.='' . Point to improve.

my sincerest thanks to the people who made this grade possible.

Xueling for co-ordinating with the SAA friends. Still owe you a treat. Hope your dad's recovering well.

those who've taken time off busy schedules to attend, really sorry to keep you guys waiting since 8pm. the red angels: yuhui, zhipeng, pj, james, yh, kh & bf. and from saa charles ken dayna germaine esther. and cheeyen too. Didnt manage to play some group games to increase interaction... thats a point to improve on next time bah.

Hongwei for getting the cake from marina sq to minds cafe safely.

Thanks to all for accomodating my last-minuteness. hahaha..

HAHA. MY BF021 PRESENTATION IS OVER! =) and im happy that he's happy.

side Learning: Service at Suntec Ichiban is really fast and friendly. Ladies Night at Minds is quite worth it.

time to mug again. byebye!

生病了

2009-10-05T09:40:00.000-07:00

最近生病了。两次都是一样。

睡着睡着就开始发高烧，喉咙痛，头痛，肚子痛，全身酸痛。想马上死掉的感觉。

已经很久没有生病了。可能是因为最近经常笑人，不明白为什么他们个个抵抗力那么低。

结果叻，就轮到我了。我起码一两年没有这种想马上死掉的感觉了。

累了累了。

我的天使明天生日了，所以我要快快好起来。

Actually its those projects. I must get well soon to complete them.

Can't be a weakling anymore.

Thank you! =)

share your dreams

2009-10-03T08:44:00.000-07:00

在那无辜的一两秒内，我是真的被失望吞噬了。

you are looking for someone to share your dreams, share your ups and downs.

不幸的是，我总不是第一个知道。

我不能忘记，那些被你偷偷记下的回忆，那些后来被我识破的谎言。你和她的谈得来，曾经都是我的不知道。

"I don't want to bring it up again but I can't help it." I totally understand this feeling. Once bitten, forever shy.

To tell the truth, I don't even like to be on par with the rest, let alone know things about you from the mouth of other people, anyone.

It's not about what I can do, but this gesture of missing me out in the information loop,

intentionally or unintentionally,

may be a small matter to you.

but to me,

it is so totally disappointing.

1. it reminds me of an unhappy time with all your secrets or lies. i was not part of it.

2. it shows how much you think of me as someone who can share your dreams. i am not part of it.

3. it predicts. i will not be part of it.

if it's your dreams alone, how do i share it?

i don't know why im so sad.

i must be pms-ing again.

its such a small thing. not worthy of my emotions.

okae.

i am really pms-ing.

SIGH. 1.2.3.

I am still pms-ing.

enough.

time to work. i'm gonna finish all those god-damn projects by tonight.

I had fun at Pool today. This week has been so happening. It would have been great without those projects. Seriously. Marketing students should spend more time interacting with malls and media and not meet to do stupid hypothetical cases and try to force our answers into hundred year old frameworks.

I am seriously PMS-ing. back off. grr.

the smoky lights

2009-10-02T08:56:00.000-07:00

I think it was god-sent.

One night my nick was "Wanna meet for a drink tmr?"

And then the next day qiren invited us to Zirca to support mx, the Sembawang candidate for Mr Singapore. And qiren wasnt even on my msn. =P

HAHA. DRINKS AND EYE CANDIES. shiok. except that most of the candidates were quite cui and too thin for my taste... was doing project so reached there about 2 hours late at 11+. Just in time for the swimwear show. HAHA. my favourite contestant had the Takuya Kimura hair. But thats about all thats nice. I think my boyfriend would win the round if he had his hair. mx, unfortunately, isn't really my eye candy. he's cuter and more natural on the ground, i guess. I prefer his friend, V, although I've never gotten the chance to talk to him or be in the same grp as him during the shg camps. =(

Sad thing was, no one brought a camera! AH! WASTED!

The last time I went, Zirca was still known as MOS.

Exactly the same place! Lots of space and the lightings were super stress relieving I felt my soul flying out with the smoke! Okae I guess I only had half my soul to speak of cos I kept losing in the five-ten game.

i think 40 minutes on the dancefloor and i was sweating like crazy. but also quite sleepy and felt my legs aching alr. knees were protesting against the heels too. too old! We went off earlier at around 2am and I slept my way home.

This is about the only thing that made my recess a "general term for a period of time in which a group of people is temporarily dismissed from its duties", as defined by Wikipedia.

sometimes when i'm stressed out i think that drinking is the only way to chill. and the added bonus is jumping around and the illusionary effect of the lights and the alcohol. Fortunately or unfortunately, most of my friends prefer milder ways to relax. And so I've never gone to zouk before =( and i rarely have the chance to unleash my inner party animal. HAHA.

If I tell my friends I want to go clubbing, they will give me a cynical look and 100 other ways to spend the money. Next time I shall have a dance floor in my house. With all the lights and the bar counters and the everything, strippers maybe.

Back to reality. Back to projects.

Next week:

Tue: FAST CAT phase 2 due.

Thurs: Asian Paints Presentation.

Self-Evaluation

2009-09-30T09:33:00.000-07:00

I was bored so I asked my boyfriend what are the qualities of the someone he is looking for. And he gave me a list. And based on these criteria I did a self-evaluation of 1-5.

im looking for someone who understands.
Maybe I understand, but I don't say it. 2.

im looking for someone who can share my ups and downs, no matter how big or small.
I listen. 4.

im looking for someone who loves me for who i am.
I've loved you for 9 years. If you are not you, then I must have been imagining it. 5.

im looking for someone who knows my dreams and want me to achieve them
I don't know what are your dreams exactly. Maybe you want to be a pilot. Maybe you want to be an auditor. Maybe your dream is just to own a castle. What are your dreams? I hope you achieve them. But I probably wont be there to achieve them with you if those are your dreams alone and not mine. Like becoming a pilot. 0.

im looking for someone i can entertain, that smiles because of me
I don't pretend to be entertained when I'm seriously not, but I do laugh a lot when you say funny things. 3.

im looking for someone who doesn't get bored of me
What is "doesnt"? Are you looking for someone who will never get bored of you?, or don't get bored of you "most of the time?" or what? Personally, I do get bored of you at times. Like maybe once a month at least. 0.

im looking for someone who's sensitive enough not to enjoy publicly humiliating me when they feel like it
I'm probably not sensitive enough to even know that I'm "publicly humiliating" you, let alone enjoy the process. 0.

im looking for someone i love with all my heart
You probably don't love me with all your heart. Especially when timeframe is taken into consideration. 0.

im looking for someone who can trust me
I can't. 0.

14/45 To a large extent, I am not that someone.

Outsourcing.

2009-09-29T03:28:00.000-07:00

Tues: AB311 project meeting

Wed: BH223 meeting, FYP meeting

Thurs: BM315 meeting, AB311 meeting

Fri: BH226 meeting

And each meeting ends up without a conclusion. I'm so sick of things. I want to outsource everything.

And I've got this additional elective called BF021. And after recess I have got to hand in this major project on the 6th October.

Havent got a clue what to do. And not motivated to invest time already since my bf flunk his GF021 this year. He spent like 2 days rushing through the project and the result was disastrous. Like the main present was not even wrapped. And he still insisted that we eat at JP Kuishinbo which I already said the day before was not worth it with lousy service. And I had to pay for my own boat ride. The smartest thing that he did was to get the red angels at night. It was the only thing worth remembering.

I marked him down because I could not see enough effort put in. I was looking for a project that has been well thought through, researched, considered, analysed, pondered upon. Planned, rehearsed and perfected. Not just something grabbed off the shelf, or by random recommendations.

And now 3 months later, I'm the one looking for a short-cut out. Haha. so much for double standards. I'm lazy to think already. So I'm going to outsource this project, attractive prizes awaits:

1. What can I buy? He doesnt need a wallet or shoes or bags or a phone or a psp or a jacket. He doesnt want watches, pens and Liverpool things with the Carlsberg sign. I dont think he should own more toys, although I think most of his wishlist revolves around toys. I want him to be my real man, so yeap. no toys. I don't have the mood and time to make anything. Thinking along the line of gadgets/video games. Recommendations?

2. Where can we eat? He wants buffet, I think. A place that's got good food, not too noisy, no crying kids, no complicated cutlery, good red bean dessert, comfy seats and lighting. Probably a seaview or something.

3. How can we celebrate? This includes the other miscellaneous stuff like where to go after dinner/lunch? What to see? Who to meet? What other gimmicks to make the day a memorable one.

The best answer overall will get a Swensens icecream treat from me. All participants will receive a McDonald ice cream cone treat. Answers will be judged on originality (30%), feasibility (30%), justification of analysis (10%), evaluation of alternatives (10%) analysis of analysis (10%), ethical soundness (10%).

My constraints are time (7 hours) and budget ($600).

Email to summergally@hotmail.com, or leave a comment after this post. Deadline: 6th October 2009 0200hrs Winners will be notified by me.

=)

also looking for FYP topics. Top 3 suggestions on brand equity topics will get ice cream cones from me.

also looking for AB311 Asian Paints Question 3 answer. Best evaluation will get ice cream cone from me.

This week

2009-09-28T10:44:00.000-07:00

Today marks the last day of my recess week. Final year already, and still have not come to terms with the fact that recess is not a one week break but a one week hell.

I was angry today because he was an hour late. And I was only 15 minutes late. So I waited for 45 minutes.

I put my boyfriend into the GE business grid and the BCG matrix. I think my competitive position is medium, but his attractiveness is about low to me everytime he makes me angry. So there's no point in investing or growing, ie wasting time and effort to be angry. Just harvest selectively and pray that this investment wont go into the dog position anytime soon.

And it's interesting to see how he's moved from a star to a cash-cow to almost a dog in the past 10 years. Love is so like that. Makes the other person less attractive, makes myself less confident. So fatalistic right? Wrong.

I think love can be strategic and logical. Please let's work hard for it.

Everyday you wake up, you start again.

I just need one star.

This is a bad week

2009-09-27T09:31:00.000-07:00

The bad things that happened to me this week can be classified into certain categories.

Health based:

1 steamboat buffet, 2X roti prata for supper, 2X icecream, 4X fast food, 0X gym, 2X fruits. Sick on Tuesday morning. Sorethroat on Tues and Wed.

Personality based:

1. I lost the Children's Day meeting agenda.

2. I lost my grey multi-purpose shawl on the bus on the way to tuition on Sat. This is the most saddening.

3. I snapped at a Straits Times photographer at CARE project today because she kept asking us to pose for photos when the elderly lady was already having difficulty walking, let alone carry the heavy milk powder as requested by the pose. We are not wayang kits hello. But thinking back, I guess it was very rash of me too, since she was probably doing her job.

School based:

1. I am going back to school 4 times in the recess week.

2. I didnt get pass the prelims of Post-it competition.

3. I think I would flunk my BH226 essay.

4. I'm still stuck at fyp.

Other random:

1. Some bald man almost knocked me off the Canteen A staircase that day.

2. My friend is going through a rough patch now and I feel sad. and upset with whoever is involved.

3. A dress i bought shrunk after i put it into the dryer. Now it's too short to be worn as a dress.

4. No one was watching the Liverpool match on Friday and all the kopitiams were showing the Man U match. So dear couldnt meet up with eugene to watch the 6-1 together. And I've never sat through a whole match before. Just when I'm fully prepared the plan didnt work.

OKAE. these are the things that didnt go my way this week. hope next week would be better.

It's recess!

The Abuse of "Excuse Me"

2009-09-25T09:24:00.000-07:00

I was walking up the staircase leading to Canteen A today, when a man suddenly came rushing down and swept me aside with an "Excuse Me". I would have rolled off the flight of stairs had my CG been a little higher. I had to step two steps down to regain my balance. You might have had that feeling before, the moment of panic just before you fall. My heart just jumped out.

All because he wanted to take the free shuttle bus to Pioneer MRT station. And it wasn't even peak hour because there was so much space on all sides of the staircase.

I really wonder if Singaporeans know what "Excuse Me" stands for. You don't say "Excuse me" then crash right smack into someone's face as if she's not there. You should stop and say "Excuse me." If I can't make way for you in time, and you've already knocked into me, please say "Sorry" sincerely. Excuse me is not the same as sorry, ok?

I'm totally disgusted by this bald, Chinese man.

You are so not excused, asshole.

And would it kill you to wait for a second bus? This is how people get killed

Not a good day.

2009-09-23T09:51:00.000-07:00

Probably the worst day in my life. Which I hope to leave in wordpress.

Am shifting to Tumblr soon as it offers more flexibility in terms of design. Plus audio and video capabilities which Wordpress doesnt give for free. =) Read Nanyang Chronicles for more. No prize for guessing my new blog's url. =)

I'll shift there when I'm done with rambling about today. It's so chaotic, I dunno where to start.

1. I woke up at 8am and thought through my slides while brushing teeth. Left the house, forgot to bring wallet. Went home to take wallet, and left my presentation prop on the table after I took my wallet. Suay.

2. I didn't really care much about the competition until the point when I took over and I realised that I had 5 minutes to go through consumers' trends, which was not even the main part of the presentation yet?! Looking back, it was probably the worst presentation I've ever made, and the timing wise was just totally off. I thought to myself, Gone case. And of course the QnA was focused on my psychographic segmentation which I wasnt really prepared to defend. Since I was sure the 3M would have their own method of doing it accurately. And when I took the qualitative approach, I did not expect something like a cluster analysis. And the judge from 3M kept checking her iPhone for god knows what. Good thing the profs didnt know me. I think my only consolation was that it wasnt Prof Ben because he's sure to faint. Anyway, I was mistaken as an Accounting student. gosh. I should just have played along to explain the cui-ness of our Marketing proposal.

3. I caught a glimpse of my eye candy as I was going up the staircase leading to North Spine. I thought, my luck might be changing. I was so glad to be just walking behind him. However, he was walking so fast. And I was wearing my presentation heels. And the stairs looked hellish. And pj was complaining about her blisters. So we took the lift. And then that stupid lift was so full. It went Down. Then up again. Then up. Then by the time I reached canteen A, my eye candy had disappeared. Hai.

4. I had a New York Skin Solution complimentary trial. So I thought just go and try, esp after positive WOM from pj. But I was super aware of the hard-selling tactics this girls were up to, so I asked Dearie to call to check every half an hour just to make sure I was alright. Indeed, I was right. They asked me to make 2.5 hours free. First half hour I went in, they started telling me about the package.

She: If you sign up this package, you will get $600 rebate and the total will be $2.2k only.

Me: I'd try first. My parents are paying. If it's good, I'd discuss with them.

She: Don't wait anymore, your skin problems cannot wait already. And this $600 discount is only for first time customers.

Me: I'm not interested in the promotion. I can pay if it's good. Just let me try first.

She: Why not you top up the basic one to the deep cleansing one? $200 only.

Me: I'm not interested. Just give the the trial, basic one so that I can compare with my other facials.

She: ok.

End of hard-selling part 1. Went for facial. I'd leave that part till later.

End of facial, hard-selling part 2.

She: You don't want the $600 promotion?

Me: Yeah, I dont need and I don't want. If I need to sign up the package, how much do I need to pay in all, plus all the products? Just give me the lump sum figure.

She: Okay its $2.2k with rebates.

Me: No rebate.

She: $2.8k

Me: Okae, I will think about it and give you all a call.

She: Don't wait already, if you have the heart to treat your facial problems, you should do it now. You can pay by credit card. If money is a problem, we can even give you a student price....

Me: I'm not the one paying.

She: $600, are you sure you don't want?

Me: Yes.

She: How about this, you join as our member today for $300, and if you come back, you will still get the discounted price?

Me: What do I get as a member?

She: $300 dollars worth of products/treatment.

Me: (duh) why do i need to join today?

She: Your skin problems... must start early...

Me: I will go home today and see if i develop any side effects from this treatment. I will consult my skin doctor. Then I will decide.

She: Tmr don't have $600 rebate. Sign up now! If not join as member! At least you can save $300.

Me: I'm not interested.

She: (Continues blabbering.)

Me: (Phone rings, answer phone, give code word "Dinner". Dearie comes outside the shop before i get conned of my money.) Okae i need to go already. Anything else I need to do? (Packs bag and walks to door)

So prefacial and post facial selling took up about an hour of my 2.5 hour appointment. =) Nice.

Now I know the difference between SALES and MARKETING.

Anyway, while I was doing my facial, I was actually contemplating the package, which worked out to about 100 per session. It was quite attractive considering the way they phrased it, so I thought, if she's good, mebbe I'd really ask my mum about it. But the facial was truly terrible. Ultra painful. Hastily done. She couldn't beat my neighbourhood beautician who charges only half of the price, plus provide a totally relaxing experience. Went home and could see lots of unclean pores. That was the whole brand experience. They promised "significant results after just 1 treatment." =) I believe that about half of the price their consumers pay would have gone to their TV and print advertising budget. And if i really sign up a package to get 10 times of such (or even worse) treatments from her, I'd really be the stupidest woman ever alive.

My face is still aching now. WTH. hope it will be less swollen tomorrow. =S

Where is the promise? Then again, it boils down to the way this ladies are being rewarded in the organisation. Where is the customer service? Things could have changed if I had a good experience and spread positive WOM. Don't people think about Brand image? Consumer trust? Sustainability?

Ah. Google "New York Skin Solutions" and you'd see what I mean. Now I'm one of those. So naive to believe.

All in all, not a good day.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow.

2009-09-21T09:23:00.000-07:00

I went to school today. It's supposed to be a public holiday but lessons still went on for some reason. Seriously, professors and lecturers should make full use of NTU's e-learning capability. How about a lesson on Facebook or something.

Sadded.

Tomorrow is another 8.30am day. SAD.

And there's an essay test tmr.

SIAN.

Wed, Post-it presentation. And cheeyun wont be presenting. SIAN.

Thurs, another 8.30 day. Fastcat project.

Fri, FYP meeting.

Next week is recess, and I'm totally not excited. After recess, all the deadlines will be crashing down on me.

I must start now.

I wish I'd see one of my eye candies tomorrow. Sometimes school can be so tiring.

I'm so sad. I want to play but I cant already.

Photos of outings will be uploaded soon.

WHINES.

Once every three weeks

2009-09-19T09:22:00.000-07:00

Again. Again. Again.

I wonder what's wrong with Libra kids.

It's really a personality problem man.

My world is black, white, and grey. I can accept greys as long as you tell me what shade of grey it is.. About 40% black? Okae I can take it. But at least, give me one answer?

So today, went mugging. Was supposed to go library but we ended up at Mac. Mac is the worst worst worst place to study. I dunno why people can study with music or at noisy places like canteens and Mac. But you know, there's this thing called "Social-mugging" whereby people socialise by mugging together. So I was okay with it and decided that I would complete 3 out of the 5 seminars that I'd be tested on for tuesday.

After 2 hours or so, I was done with the 3 seminar materials. That was like 6 chapters of the text plus lecture notes. Definitely a feat. And I was tired. I needed to go home because I've been out since 10am in the morning. it was almost 8pm.

Me: I finished my work already. I'm tired. I'm going home.

You: I think I still need to do this.

Me: When will you finish?

You: I don't know.

Me: I'm tired, I want to go home now. You can continue to study here.

You: Why not we buy something to eat? You want anything?

Me: I just ate nuggets meal. But okae I will wait for you to eat.

You: (Bought food, ate REAL slowly, fry by fry, flipped page by page)

Me: I am tired, I want to go home, what time will you be done?

You: I don't know.

Me: I'm going home.

You: Wait.

Me: Can you eat faster?

You: What time do you need to go home?

Me: I am tired, I want to go home now.

You: Wait. Should I finish up this chapter?

Super pissed...

Which part of "I am tired and I want to go home now" do you not understand? I am tired, I am going home already! I don't care what you do! You can stay here but stop asking me to wait for nothing!

What time you want to leave? Don't know. How much more to study? Don't know. What do you plan to complete today? Don't know. Can I leave on my own now? Wait.

Once every three weeks.

Guys always complain that we girls keep quiet about what's bothering us. But seriously, when we say it out, how much of it do you listen and respond to?

1) Pack up and go home with me now. (BLACK)

2) Set a time when you would be done. (SPECIFIC GREY)

3) Let me go off by myself. (WHITE)

What's so difficult about making a single decision?

Don't get it. And pissed.

Oh man. MAN.

Is there a horoscope that can make good snappy decisions? Taurus? or Hot Cancerians?

This is the Recruitment Drive for position of "A Better Boyfriend".

[caption id="attachment_1548" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="GRRRRR"][/caption]

Tired

2009-09-15T11:37:00.000-07:00

I'm happy hq helped me spot my EC today.

Project Eye Candy. I need more in NTU.

Shell and pj noticed that I'm attracted to "number" guys.

EC1 is accountancy. EC2 is accountancy and business. Dearie is accounting and finance.

i dont think its all a coincidence.

Marketing guys just isnt my cup of tea. Not unless they can count better than me, or if they do a double spec in bnf.

Water sports, music, numbers. These are the competencies I want.

One day, I'm going to do a job analysis and evaluation of a Boyfriend.

And do you know that from there, you can work out the compensation that your boyfriend deserves?

Internal alignment, External competitiveness, Contribution and Management. Haha.

Compensation and Benefits is really a fun HR subject. But I didnt do very well for my quiz today. =(

Times up. Sleep.

unmotivated

2009-09-14T09:03:00.000-07:00

it's going to be my pitfall this semester.

4 core modules, 1 elective, 1 fyp.

I think I've indirectly overloaded. And its no good at all, no good.

Test tomorrow for BH223. Stressed but can't do anything except mug all I can. And that's very little considering I keep getting distracted for various reasons.

BH226 is alright for now, although I wish there are more year 3s in class. My group mates are nice but it's difficult to merge in because i keep feeling old. Bleah.

BM315 is alright too, just that I think we should start preparing for the major Hyflux presentation at the end of the semester because I got a feeling we'd just get killed.

AB311 is bad because I have no clue at all what's our strategy's going to be for CESIM. And the first mover advantage is so apparent that those with 6-7 features get to set outrageously low prices that we can't match. And our P/E is 300 times larger than our competitors. Hais. And our tutor seems clueless about whatever he's trying to teach.

Elective is screwed because I've not attended the past 3 lectures. 1 lecture behind in terms of readings. But still, I might have to S/U it.

FYP is triple screwed because... there are 3 of us, and we cant think of a good question, and i just can't find the motivation to start when i know that i'm going to hit the wall somehow. And perhaps 3 of us feel the same way.

I bought a 2 dresses and 1 pair of shoes this week. Shopping cheers me up a little but it just makes me more unmotivated. HAI.

Can someone please pay me to study?

Now I'm the one who's not disciplined enough.

Of goals and purposes.

2009-09-11T10:08:00.000-07:00

Melvin asked me about the best teacher's day gift that I wanted to receive. And I told him that it's his best efforts for CA2. As a P2 kid, he probably cant be faulted for not knowing. That the only person whom he has to be accountable to is actually himself. Not his parents, and definitely not Teacher Wong.

But a teenager should know, right?

If you want to do something, do it well. If you don't want to do it, give youself a good reason to quit. Everything happens for a reason. And that good reason must make sense to you. It must not be an excuse. Don't plan to fail. Don't allow anything to stand in your way of failing.

I'm looking at my siblings, and I think about it all the time. It's an investment, you invest your youth where it will gain the most yield. I look at them, and sometimes I wonder what it will take to convince them, that their goal is dependent on every step they take NOW. not later.

I'm looking at some of the centre kids are just not striving hard enough. Who started to panic only after failing their prelims. Who apologised to the tutor for failing.

There's no one to apologise to, but yourself.

Nobody can help you change your life unless you are determined, and disciplined enough to help yourself. And to do that, you need to envision yourself, winning with pride, or losing in shame.

Am I expecting too much? Are you still a P2 kid?

In retrospect, perhaps I haven't failed enough to understand you.

But please my kids, go figure out the exact road to where you think success means for you. Mark out all the possible pitfalls that may cause your failures, and avoid them at all costs.

First you must see yourself as a winner and do what a winner does. Then we can easily help you with the rest.

Ah... I'm preaching. Haiz. I must be getting old.

End of Week. =)

2009-09-10T04:21:00.000-07:00

I was cycling today when I realised I screwed up my 20% critical analysis because I did not see one word, and that word is "GENERAL"

External environment analysis

= General environment analysis + Industry analysis + Competitive analysis

= PESTL + Porter's Five Forces + Competitive analysis.

"key GENERAL environment forces" is not equal to Porter's Five Forces.

HAI. First assignment of the semester. cui-ed.

Today's workout was more effective as we had a coach and she kind of helped us with the postures. But I'm very tired now.

Week 5 is over. =) I didn't die too horribly.

Week 6: Round 2 of CESIM, Comp and Ben Mid term, FYP.

100+ things about my love.

2009-09-09T02:25:00.000-07:00

What was your first impression of him? Just another irritating boy.

When did you start liking him? 2000

When did you two start going out? I forgot.

What was your first kiss with him like? Metallic and uncomfortable cos he had his braces. But it was sweet nevertheless.

Are you his first girlfriend? Yes.

How much older/younger is he compared to you? 3 months younger

Hair colour? Black

Eye colour? Black

Skin tone? Neutral

Glasses? Yes

Piercings? No

Tattoos? No

Chest hair? No

Scars? No

Smart/not? Relatively smart but still not as smart as me.

Sarcastic/not? If he wants to be.

Humorous/not? Yeah.

Possessive/not? Sometimes.

Patient/not? Very.

Affectionate/not? Yes.

Affectionate where? Here, there, everywhere.

Protective/not? Yes.

Clingy/not? Yes.

Expressive/not? No.

Talkative/quiet? Quiet

Outgoing/shy? Outgoing

Sporty/not? Sporty

Artistic/not? Artistic

Can he cook or bake? No.

Can he repair/fix things? No.

Can he dance? Better than me.

Can he sing? No.

Can he draw? Yes.

Can he play any instrument? No.

Can he write well? No.

Can he make you laugh? Yes.

Can he make others laugh? Yes.

What is his talent if he has found it?  Hmm..he has not found it.

Is he good at science and math? Maths

Is he a pet lover? Yes.

Is he environment-friendly? I think so.

What are his views on political issues? Apathetic and ignorant.

Is he racist? Yes.

Is he a vegetarian? No. haha.

Does he drink? Yes.

Smoke? No.

Curse? Yes.

Is he hairy? No.

Does he donate to beggars? Depends

Is he neat/messy? Messy

Is he romantic? Not really.

Does he pay for your meals/tickets/etc? Most of the time.

Does he express his love for you in words or in actions? In words.

Things you don't like about him (though you accept his faults): Indecisive, easily confused.

Any habits of his that you dislike? Face scratching.

Anything about his appearance that you dislike? Pimples. Haha.

What's the sweetest thing he ever said to you?

When was the latest you stayed up with him? Yesterday, 2-3am?

Do you give each other advice? Yes.

Have you ever put his last name as your own to see how it'd sound? Yeah.

Did you like it? Not really. Sounds corny.

Ever dreamt about him? Yea.

When you're upset, he: Gives me a big bear hug.

When he's upset, you:  Give him a big bear hug.

When he's happy, you: Ask him to give me a big bear hug.

Ever sacrificed some of your morals for him? No.

Seriously...? Yes.

Does he ever try to change something about you? Maybe not.

Would you be willing to give anything for him to be happy? No.

What was the most romantic thing you've done together? Eloping to Bintan, giving our parents 1 day notice in advance.

Would you ever cancel plans with friends to be with him? Yes.

How often do you think about him? In between projects and assignments and readings.

When you think about him, you: wish I could hold his hand and hug him.

When he first saw you, you: I was a little nerdy smart ass who have been topping the class every year.

Are you flirty with each other? Depends.

Life without him would be: Different.

Have you ever marveled about how lucky you are to have met him? Of course.

Have you ever doodled his name without thinking about it? No.

Does he make you feel protected? Hmm... not really.

Are you proud of him? Most of the time.

Is he proud of you? He must be.

Do you ever embarrass yourself in front of him? HAHA. All the time.

What's your best memory with him? Spending one whole day in class together everyday in Pri 6. I'd always miss those days. Sweet, simple and nothing to bother us.

Worst? The lies he told in order to be with someone else.

Have you ever been in a fight? FIGHT? no.

Does he make you angry sometimes? Yes.

How often? More often than I like it.

Can you guess what he will say or do ahead of time? Yes.

Do you ever talk about love? Yeah.

What about the future? Yes.

Do your parents know about him? Yes.

Do his parents know about you? Yes.

If so, do they like you? I have no idea. But I think yes.

Your relationship's theme song would be: HMMMM...

Weirdest thing about him: He's good at making baby sounds.

Did/Do you have a codename for him you use with your friends? No.

Do you have a favorite of his clothing? No.

Do you stay up later than normal just to talk to him? Rarely.

Do you have a favorite picture of him? Yes.

Do you try to look attractive around him? I don't have to "try". Hahaha. But yeah, i do.

Are you in love with him? Of course.

Why do you love him? It's difficult to explain.

Quote something that he has said to you: ... Fortune Favours the Brave.

Whats the worst thing he's ever said to you? "If you say so...." in the dismissive tone.

Can you imagine being with him forever? hahaha. very difficult.

Describe your ideal wedding with him: In a big posh ballroom with everyone around. Or a beach wedding! Actually, the wedding is not important.

Have you ever cheated on him? No.

Is he a lover or a fighter? Lover.

Physically, whats your favourite thing about him? Lips.

Do you truly love him? I think so.

What makes him/her happy?: Food, sleep, Me =)

What makes him/her sad?: Me, when his doggie died.

What makes him/her angry?: Inconsiderate Singaporean drivers, and sometimes me.

What excites him/her?Gundam models, and maybe me.

What’s he like at home?:
A pig

What’s he like at work/school?:
In school, highly distractive boy with short attention span. At work, sleepy.

Describe his room:
Messy with books and other random stuff. Bed is littered with our favourite toys. Jolin Tsai poster on the window which I promise I'd throw the next time i still see it. haha.

What’s his best friend like?:
His best friend is this guy with beady eyes who drinks a lot.

Do you know who he hates the most?
No. I dont think he hates anyone.

Have you met his exes?
I'm his ex and his future.

Do his parents like you?:
I have no idea. But I should think so.

What’s the first thing he would do or say if he fell down and scraped their knee:
He would get up first.

What would he do in an emergency situation with other people involved?:
He would try to react but not know what to do.

Which shop would he spend the most time at in a shopping mall?:
Bookstore

What would he have for a typical breakfast?:
Whatever his dad buys or makes for him.

Where would he want to go for dinner?:
He doesn't know.

What kind of movie would he choose at the cinema?:
Cute animal shows or action packed movies.

If he wasnt going out with you, who would he be going out with?:
His friends.

What item in his/her wardrobe would you like to burn:
The Jolin poster on his window.

What is he good at?:
Drawing.

What is he totally horrible at?:
Singing. hahahahaha

What’s something about him/her that is annoying/infuriating?:
The way he scratches his chin.

What’s something that you two fundamentally disagree on? Nothing i guess?

What’s something that you two agree whole-heartedly on?
We love the time spent with red angels!

Is he possessive?
Yes.

Why would he succeed in life?
Charm, good network and friends.

What is the coolest gift that s/he has ever given you?:
A yellow Olympus camera!

What is he obsessed with?:
X Japan.

What does he avoid at all costs?:
Conflicts and confrontations.

What does he spend the most money on?:
Transport?

Describe his typical sunday:
Wakes up, send me to tuition, go home, do work/chat online, eat, sleep.

Why would he be dangerous?:
He can't make a decision fast.

Tell us about a time he looked absolutely gorgeous:
Whenever we go swimming.

What do you love most about him/her?:
His smile, the way he gives in to me, his hugs.

The biggest lesson you have learnt from loving your partner:
It's always easier to be loved.

You are not fit to talk manners with me.

2009-09-08T08:25:00.000-07:00

"Don't you know how to say excuse me? No manners. "

1. People say "excuse me" when they feel that they are imposing on someone else. Please think about who should be the one excusing herself, if you are the one whose bag in taking up half of the only seat in a crowded bus.

2. If you really cared about manners, you would have taken the initiative to remove your bag from that seat. In the crowded bus.

3. You really don't know how much manner it took me not to give you a tight slap across your face and tell you to FUCK OFF there and then.

Breathe in, breathe out.

She somehow reminded me of this fuggly woman who once stood on the RIGHT HAND SIDE of the escalator and REFUSED to make way and even scolded a vulgarity when I SAID "EXCUSE ME". Sorry but can you tell me exactly what is the Indian translation for "EXCUSE ME?" If i say it i get bombed. If i dont say it i still get bombed. What's wrong with you all?

Should you women just go look at yourselves in the mirror and understand why people like me can't stand your face? Are you even fit to talk about manners with me? Please borrow some brains to think through it.

Respect is earned, not given.

EXCUSE ME for rambling.

Week 4 Hell

2009-09-04T11:14:00.000-07:00

Dearie had a high fever and we got to call off our gym trip to take him to a doc. =( WHY DO GUYS ALWAYS FALL SICK!?!

Despite the inevitable muscle ache, i still enjoy going to the jw gym. To be able to see my house, the pool, let my mind think about nothing as I sweat it out. And knowing that the man i love is nearby, sexifying his muscles and abs. And a good weekend awaits. That's Friday for me. That takes out the stress.

in the afternoon, met up with Triosome for fyp. and i'm very stressed because we're not progressing. sorry for the time wasted. HAI. I just wanna do it right. But it seems so impossible. I was looking out of the window and wishing that some bearded professor would drop from the sky and present us with a topic that is interesting and never been researched on and complicated enough for an FYP and adds value. We really need some divine intervention here.

continued with bm315 project. it was one hell of a project and we stayed till Library 2 closed at 9pm. And we're presenting on monday. HAI.

And today was supposed to be my free day.

Sad.

fortunately, When i reached home, my Gmarket haul arrived! =) I love my new jacket and BB cream! the necklaces were as shiny as those in the pictures!! Very satisfied! The notebooks were super pretty too, but too bad they're not mine. haha. So thrilled.

Little things like these, take away the stress momentarily.

I saw EC in canteen A that day and i was super happy. Nowadays he'd turn to look... But still no hi. I dunno why i'd just keep smiling, when i dont want to! Unfortunately I've been wearing my specs these few days so I must have looked super toot. But the nice thing was that hq and i found a seat far away enough from him but still had a direct view of him. and that was my most delicious lunch ever.

And yesterday i was quite amused by delp, who looked so shocked and blur when she saw the birthday cake!

Yeah... these are perhaps the nicer things about school.

reality of week 5: 1 report due, 1 presentation, and 1 round of CESIM. KIWI needs a CFO.

hai...

Breathless

2009-09-02T09:23:00.000-07:00

Today was supposed to be a free day for me but i had THREE project meetings from 12.30 to 6pm.

Then I had to entertain my boyfriend. And he attempted to surprise me with tickets to the Chanel show which bored him to death?! HAHA.... I found it quite enjoyable though. Yeah and I like that love story. This biography further proves my thesis that behind every successful woman, there's NO PLACE FOR ANY MAN.

Then again, maybe xiaolee can be the exception. =) Hugs.

Reached home at 10pm. Did a final revision of my critical analysis and submitted it. Thats like 20% of my grade. Our team got FIRST for cesim!

And I've got tonnes of work to do.

It's 12 now, and I have an 8.30 lesson tmr. So I should go and sleep.

But I'm so breathless I can't sleep.

I regret taking up 5 modules this sem.. Plus FYP. I think i'm biting off more than i can chew.

Nowhere near first class honours.

I feel so disoriented and stressed. Thats it. 10 minutes up. Time to sleep.

so... challenged.

Work sucks. Waking up early for seminar sucks.

4.49, that's what keeping me going. That's my purpose, mission and goal.

oh and 2 birthday celebrations this week. plus an shg dinner. nice things to look forward to in the short run.

P&G job offer results will be out in October. Should i sign up for Unilever Management Trainee programme in Sept?

WILL MY GYM BUDDIES PLEASE DONT BANG SEH ME ON THURSDAYS?!?!?! Hahahaha...

OKAE 15 minutes self time is up. time to slp. goodnight world.

Personality

2009-09-01T09:20:00.000-07:00

Maybe the Myers Briggs method would be better to explain all these.

BASICS of INTJ XIAOLEE

Is a natural idealist, visionary, long-range planner

Is normally quite symbolic about most things

Is NOT afraid to think about any thing

Is FUTURE oriented, struggles with in-the-moment detailed reality

Is very general, conceptual with great “idea” sense

Is typically tough-minded

Is usually seeing multiple views of EVERYTHING

Is typically decisive when implementing a plan

Find natural relationships between various ideas the theories

Is normally easily distracted

Needs to make sense of things

“See The Trend”, “It Must Make Sense”, “Competence + Independence=Perfection”, to name a few.

Are reasoning and making decisions with natural/instinctive logic and analysis

Are frequently impatient with error, especially their own

Will have difficulty (sometimes great difficulty) factoring in other people’s “feelings” in a decision making situation

Usually enjoy solving complex problems

Will be more naturally “object” oriented not “people” oriented when getting things done

Can become too involved with theory, splitting hairs and get trapped in inaction

Normally, skeptical in a positive way

In relationships,
- usually quiet and reserve
- may appear to be somewhat distant personally
- can neglect to express appreciation for the way others feel
- can be exquisitely understanding of others feelings, at times this ability seems almost “psychic”
- are very private people, and don’t “open up” with many
- Strongly need to feel independent

Under Stress:
- May become even less Introverted and more Extraverted, and verbally “attack”
- May become bogged down with planning and not act
- May become over-involved with physical experiences
- May become compulsive at making the outside work fit their inside view of things, with emotion getting in

BASICS of ENFJ JENYI

Is deeply concerned with bringing harmony to all they do

Is very decisive and clear about values

Is warm and caring in all that they do

Is strongly oriented to the new, the possible, the potential in others

Expects, believes, and wants the world to be harmonious with clear idealistic values

Wants to care for others, organize their environment and get things done

Is openly communicative, fun-loving and transparent

Deeply value relationships, want to know and be known by others

Has exceptional people skills.

Possesses a natural active compassion and caring for the needs of others

May avoid conflict at all costs in order to maintain perceived harmony

“Possibility Thinking!”, “Concepts Are Real” “Intuition University”

Are masterful at winning the cooperation of others

Often make decisions and come to conclusions regarding people quickly

Will have difficulty (sometimes great difficulty) with those unable/unwilling to emote

Will have difficulty with confrontations of all sorts

Enjoy planning for the possibilities in most things and for most people

Are deeply motivated by causes that nurture, support, and feed others

Will work tirelessly to fulfill the humanitarian needs they identify with

In relationships,
- is friendly, emotionally expressive, outgoing
- value genuineness
- will have difficulty taking criticism at times
- they are very tactful, but can be seen as manipulative
- have a tendency to push toward what is good for others
- Will take on the concerns and responsibilities of others to the hurt of self
- Must receive appreciation and recognition
- May rush to judgment rather than cooperatively considering a mates point of view
- Strongly irritated by criticism and logic

Under Stress The ENFJ:
- May become extremely narrow in their perceptions
- Will become very emotional and irritable
- Will begin to strongly doubt themselves and seek help from anyone
- Under extreme stress they may withdraw, feel hurt, trapped and focus on irrelevant details
- May withdraw and strongly criticize others
- May become angry, loud, and verbal focusing on non-relevant details

What xiaolee can do now:

1. Verbal stroking of ego, show appreciation. (and be really feely feely...)

2. Be less assertive and less tough-minded. Friendlier, more demure, more gentle.

3. Think Less, Feel More. Shut up and act dumb.

4. Look around for more compatible alternatives. Thinking People please!

Why do I think managing a company is easier than managing a relationship?

Okae jia you jia you jia you. Put in your best.

An attempt.

2009-08-30T00:16:00.000-07:00

Nobody likes to listen to both sides of the story. We all like to have some space to make our own speculations and pass our own judgments. Makes it more interesting and engaging.

I don't like to burden others with the details of my personal unhappiness.

The negative consequence of this is that I don't hide my expression well and people know I'm unhappy. But they can't tell why. So they dismiss it. Probably I'm a little girl suffering from a huge bout of PMS.

I know that a lot of things are going very well for me. I'm not burdened by financial problems, I'm not too dumb or ugly, I've got an intact family and supposedly, a man who has invested 10 years of his youth on me. So I feel that I don't have a right to be unhappy about anything.

In truth, I feel like I'm a living facade.

Trying hard to focus, to smile, to cheer myself on, to strive for the best.

Only with a crumbling core all the time.

So maybe, I should just stop pretending and figure out what's wrong exactly. Get all the trivial matters out of the way and to show just my side of the story. No one will probably understand the frustration anyway. I've set an expectation too high for myself to be happy.

Details ahead. Good for bedtime stories.

It all started as an innocent chat in the vol room.

"If we find it boring, we should just attitude them."

I thought this was tremendously immature and uncalled for. As role models for the kids, eye-rolling and giving "the attitude" is definitely not a culture we want to foster. And I don't even want the newer volunteers to contemplate this idea. Not like we don't already have enough of these in the upper secondary girls. So I said "Let's not do to them what we don't want them to do to us."

And you went "ok ok ok ok." in that impatient manner. Like I was preaching. So my stand was dismissed as that. Nice support.

As if nothing had happened, you asked if I wanted to collect the money from the rest of the people. Since J also passed you a large part of money you said you would calculate and reimburse the total sum to me. 4th Jul was the date of purchase. 1 month later I was the one doing the calculation and doing the nagging and collating the details and doing the accounts. And only then did you pass me the $ that was given to you by J. 2 months later you still cannot complete your job. And still have the cheek to ask me to collect from the rest.

Which I should have right from the beginning cos I would have gotten back my money within 2 weekends.

I call this incompetence. And irresponsibility. I should have known.

I decided to go home earlier to complete my assignment. To be honest, that was just 50% of the reason. 30% of me don't even want to see you at all. And perhaps 20% of the reason was that I wanted to go home to rest. Y and you caught up with me, with Y doing most of the talking. Y said, the red angels would be going for Pool, and asked if I wanted to join. I told her the 50% of my reason and declined. She walked back to join the rest.

You followed me all the way to Redhill MRT, asking me if I really didn't want to go. "Yes, I'm tired. You guys have fun" I said. You said "E is going."

That was the most random reason I've ever heard. So would it make you glad that I went to see E? I call this... stupidity. You asked for a hug before I went up the train. I'm sorry, I don't really enjoy hugging blocks.

I took the train alone. Just as I was walking towards my estate, you called and said you were in another train too. "Reached Pioneer." Interesting.

I call this "Indecisiveness." Perhaps the outing was called off. Or perhaps you were advised by the rest to give chase. Or perhaps, which was quite the most unbelievable option, you suddenly decided to understand what was/were wrong. What made you decide to take the second train after mine, I really don't get it. You followed me all the way up to Redhill MRT, then let me travel alone, then went up 2 trains after me. I really don't get it.

You reached my house. I showered. My muscles ached. I curled up in bed and closed my eyes. Waiting for you to tell me something different, do some self-reflection or something. To talk about today. To understand. Nothing happened and I fell asleep. I slept for 2 hours and then you woke me up, saying that you were going home. Nice.

I started on my assignment. You reached home and nudged me online. I asked you questions. You gave me questions back. I wanted to talk about the day. You wanted to talk about how your tutor audited a funeral parlour. I said "If you feel that there's value for me in listening to this". You typed your story. Sorry I couldnt appreciate that.

It was 1am. I decided to go sleep. You said the funeral parlour thing would sound nicer over the phone. You asked me to sms you after I brushed my teeth so that you can tell me about it over the phone. I said I was not interested.

So I did not sms you. But I was holding the phone. I wanted something more than the funeral parlour.

I fell asleep.

5.19am, I woke up.

No missed call, no nothing. I don't know what I was waiting for actually.

So I went back to sleep.

The end.

Constructive actions.

Short term: Finish up my assignment and stop waiting or thinking cos nothing is ever going to happen. 3 days from now, we'd be smiling again. 3 weeks from now, I'd be unhappy about something else again. And you'd know nothing, say nothing, respond to nothing and do nothing.

Long term: I don't know. Look forward to the day when we share the same frequency and level of intellect again? Find someone who's there, the the ability to understand me without me having to spell out everything. Someone who is clear-headed about he is doing and saying.

Yup.

An idiotic conversation.

2009-08-29T08:02:00.000-07:00

high exit barrier, threat of new entrants says:
is Today different from Yesterday?

Fortune Favours The Brave. Red Angels, timetables please! says:
hm? whats with the caps?

high exit barrier, threat of new entrants says:
am i different from today as compared to yEsterday?

Fortune Favours The Brave. Red Angels, timetables please! says:
you're still you
yet you are not you?

high exit barrier, threat of new entrants says:
ok perhaps that explains y u say the same thing to me everyday. no matter what

Fortune Favours The Brave. Red Angels, timetables please! says:
how about me?

high exit barrier, threat of new entrants says:
dont ask me questions

Fortune Favours The Brave. Red Angels, timetables please! says:
okay
anyway if you’re interested in hearing
about how my tutor audited funeral parlour
give me a nudge

high exit barrier, threat of new entrants says:
so what's this
sth different to tell me
or sth to change the subject

Fortune Favours The Brave. Red Angels, timetables please! says:
sth that might be more interesting?

high exit barrier, threat of new entrants says:
nice attempt
bye

.

You're a Very Very Beautiful Woman

2009-08-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

The Proposal was a pretty show though a little too predictable.

"You're a Very... Very Beautiful Woman"
That was the one thing he said that made me guess the whole ending of the movie accurately.

I'd definitely be bought if I hear this being said to me. Unfortunately, compliments like this have to be earned for it to be genuine.

Esp the "WOMAN" part.

I hate being a woman when i feel unbeautiful, like today.

When lethargy takes over everything you do.
When you cant even manage 20 sit-ups at one go.
When your muscles start to ache even with the lightest weights
When you feel fat all the time.
When your thighs feel and look bloated.
When your breasts get super tender and swollen.
When ugly zits pop out just when you think your skin is healing.
When all the sleep in the world cannot erase your eye bags.
When you can't sleep when you should be sleeping.
When you feel sleepy when it's not time to sleep.
When a migraine spreads at the back of your head.
When your mood swings from one pole to the other.
When you start thinking of your bf as a stinky skunk.
And When you have a 20% essay thats due next thurs.

Then you know that the dreaded Auntie M is coming. And you just hope she would come and leave quickly and take all these fking nonsense with her.

Trying very,very hard to focus. Why is it so difficult to be a happy woman?

SIGHS.

Marketers lead.

2009-08-25T08:59:00.000-07:00

Good article that the new-age marketing student should read.

The CMO's Role in a Customer-Centric Organization

Week 2

2009-08-24T09:32:00.000-07:00

Term's started full-swing and I got a feeling I'm going to burn out this semester.

Let me whine abit.

1. Some idiot took my printouts from Library 2 printer.
How it happened: Guy approached me to lend him cashcard to print some stuff. Ended up I didnt have enough $ to pay for my own notes. So I left the slow printer printing and went to top up my cashcard just near the printers. When i came back, notes were gone. 30 Pages of Post-It challenge notes, HR notes and other readings.
Who to blame: The guy who used my cashcard. The guy who took away my notes without checking. And me for not waiting for the printouts to be done.
Constructive actions: Find out what's to be printed and reprint them. Alert all NTU students reading this blog to PLEASE CHECK WHAT YOU COLLECT FROM THE PRINTER! Ensure sufficient cash in my card before printing.

2. I ached for a week following my once-in-a-blue-moon gym trips.
How it happened: Weights on Thursday with the girls, cardio on Fri with the guys. And i ached for a whole 4 days and counting.
Who to blame: Me, for not exercising enough. Me, for not cooling down. And maybe, lactic acid for building up so quickly.
Constructive action: Warm up and cool down properly. Persevere to succeed! Finally got the 1kg I need to be in the acceptable weight category. NOW is the time to train hard to get nice toned abs and buns and healthy heart and bones!

3. I bombed 1k in August.
How it happened: Bintan Trip (no regrets), Hair (no regrets), movies and outings (no regrets), Shoes and 3 dresses at one go (no regrets), alcohol, loans to others, TEXTBOOKS, Gmarket haul, FOOD, Transport...
Who to blame: P&G for the good internship pay. Jurong Point retail marketers for the many many temptations. Me for impulse travel and purchases.
Constructive action: SPEND WISELY.

4. My individual contribution CLASHED with Jared's on BM315 forum.
How it happened: We both got a website on the evil deeds of Rimbunan Hijau but I was less than 1 min slower to post it on the message board cos my browser hung on me! Bleah.
Who to blame: Rimbunan Hijau for doing the evil deeds that caused it to be mentioned but not in full during the lecture that caused us to search for info that caused our links to clash.
Constructive actions: Avoid peak posting time (around 11pm). Bring laptop to BM315 class and post articles just as he is speaking so as to be the first 2. RESEARCH for more unique articles for the same topic. Refresh page every half a second to check if the same link has been posted.

Haha. Actually, I'm really quite happy now to be back in school. It's going to be a tough sem ahead in terms of academic work but I'm sure I will enjoy the sem.

I WANT TO WATCH THE PROPOSAL LEH.

But maybe i should save up and catch it on Blockbuster 5 on TV next time. I think I can save hundreds of dollars per year if i dont watch TV instead of Movies.

BUT HECK! What is a movie if you dont watch it in cinemas?

My dream is to have a cinema in my home next time. Home theatre with lots of movies.
that makes 1 home theatre room, 1 library room, 1 branded bags and shoes collection room, 1 bedroom, 1 Sylvanian Families collection room, 1 wardrobe room. On top of 1 swimming pool, 1 penthouse with jacuzzi, 1 big living room for parties chill-outs, and 1 garden with my favourite blooms.

Dreams.

Strategy

2009-08-22T07:25:00.000-07:00

Every first seminar talks about this big word strategy. Some just got to appear in the course titles.

BH226 Strategic Human Resource and Consulting
AB311 Strategic Management

xiaolee's definition: a strategy is a method to achieve the ultimate win.
A trade-off needed to obtain the best possible results. Still an abstract term, isn't it?

I'm scared of strategies. we all need to turn into scheming people. Study the picture and plot against/exploit others to reach your goal.

These professors make the working world sound really bad. In this dog-eat-dog world, the smartest and the most scheming survives.
I want to survive, badly. Not lose to my NTU peers, the NUS kids, the SMU kids, the kids who are flying back from all over the world, and other degree holders. But what's winning like? And what would losing cost?

I wish I've got better brains to be enlightened.
Cope with the added responsibilities and still be courageous and cheerful all the time.

21. isn't it stressful that NOW is the time that decides everything?

I still want to be a little girl, go to fun places, chill out with friends, love and be loved.
But I have to start thinking about strategising to win.

My goals, and how to reach them.

I'm getting lots of white hair these days.

feels sucky

2009-08-19T04:28:00.000-07:00

to lose the matric card again.

And while most people know when or where they've lost it, i suspect that mine is really somewhere in the house. Cos I was pretty sure I got it back after the last exams. Then i changed wallet. Then i cleared up my desk and room and shelves. Then I must have kept it in a "safe place" if its not in my new wallet.

this is not the first time that i want to keep something thats important but rarely used in a "safe place" but end up forgetting where that "safe place" is.

disgusted.

xiaolee doesn't understand...

2009-08-18T07:50:00.000-07:00

1) ...why PIZZA Hut Singapore wants people to remember their PASTAs after cheapening their pizzas. What makes Pastamania an easier competitor than Canadian Pizza? Their biggest opportunity lies with customer service really. and probably understanding which segments of Singaporeans they are targetting exactly.

2)... why some Singaporeans are so bitter about having their ricebowls taken away by foreign talents, yet so eagerly want to outsource National Service to the same people. For one thing, the SAF is probably the only place where there will definitely employment for the Singaporeans. You are a global citizen WORKING IN THE 21st CENTURY!Don't ask what kind of jobs the country can offer you. Ask yourself what VALUE you can bring to the company, to our country's economy.

My Friendly Neighbourhood Hairdressers

2009-08-16T09:52:00.000-07:00

Actually I'm the most low involvment kid around when it comes to hair.

I got it rebonded again. Is it the 4th/5th time?

UH! i wish i would dare to try some other stuff but hell...i still stuck to the good old rebonding. so much for a timid kid.

I hate it when it's ultra flat. But soon... it'd be perfect. haha.

Anyway, i did not have plans to rebond at all! Just wanted to snip off the split ends. But there was a special students promo! 90 bucks inclusive of cutting + treatment for my length and Loreal. Dirt cheap! anyway when i sat down they asked where i did my highlighting. And i said "here! very dry already right?"

HAHA... and they looked at each other and the boss said "Yeah lor. Who was the one who did it for you?"

And i smiled cos SHE was the one who did it! Hahaha. Anyway, i'd probably not colour my hair very often cos it really makes my hair look hayish. not like rebonding is any much better but at least it improves the texture of the hair.

one guy did the rebonding for me. Quite good with his ironing. But he probably was laughing at me cos i couldnt see a single thing without my specs. "You want to read magazine? Aiyoh... or can't see the words ar?" Then the boss took out a dvd player and put it right in front of me and played a recorded version of some taiwanese show. But the screen was so small i could only see some shadows. the worst part was the show ended and then there was this Mediacorp ghostly documentary hosted by guo liang. And all the scary music was audible and there were so many shadows moving about. eeyer. I'd rather not have that player man.

Anyway... My fringe's too freaky short cos he thought that i wear specs everyday. and he trimmed it slanted then he said "Nah, i think when you put on your specs it would be just nice!"

OHNO! i put on my specs and saw that the top was damn short. just nice with specs but horrible without.

But it'd grow out soon lar. I'm very confident. IT HAS TO!!

try to contain your laughter when u see my hair lor. It will grow out and soon i will be the beautiful swan again. hahahaha!!!

Yeah these are my friendly neighbourhood hairdressers.

Of eye-candies.

2009-08-13T10:14:00.000-07:00

Early in the morning 10.30am, I was rushing to meet the fyp people in FAL and hq suddenly said over the phone "I SAW YOUR EYECANDY!" And then i woke up.

As fate would have it, they were going to leave the FAL to look for me already. I was quite sad to miss catching him again. But as fate would have it, when we returned at around 11+, he was still there!

So there, as fate would have it, my eye candy appeared on the morning...my first day of the semester. in FAL. =)

This is my one and only eye candy in NBS. But he is attached. And same here. haha.

So there's no such thing as fate. At least not between him and me. and he probably doesnt even know that i exist.

But catching a glimpse of him still made my day. That's how it works. The candy.

Now lets talk about my eye noodle.

As fate would have it, we met when we were 12. I sometimes wonder if its even love at all.

Cos as we grow up, the differences become more significant.

But as fate would have it, we're still...like this.

The noodle is the one that keeps you filled with love while the candy is just a supplement.

Lol. I think I'm setting double standards.

Cos If he ever finds an eye-candy in his school, I'd be making damn alot of noice.

300% not happy if he keeps the eye-candy to himself and proclaims in a secret blog that "she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen." later discovered by the girlfriend who's never received such compliment before. or secretly goes to jio eye-candy and lie to girlfriend. real life examples encountered.

50% unhappy if he just admits "Yeah XXX is my eye-candy because... ". But... who knows, maybe i agree and can even learn from her.

All girls will get jealous but not all girls are unreasonable. Guys just think that certain things can't be told to the one they love. But do you know that it hurts them more to know that they don't know?

okae. maybe that only applies to xiaolee, who's stupid enough to want to know everything.

So this may hurt but it is what I dont want to hide from you. and what i don't want you to hide from me again.

My eye candy in nbs is pretty cute. =)

Of Movies

2009-08-13T09:30:00.000-07:00

Just realised I watched 3 movies already! Time to cut down on this expensive indulgence!

But I've really liked to movies that I seen. Quick reviews on them, in chronological order.

The Hangover is what you'd call a guy's version of Chick Flick.. hahaha. I would have to admit that it's truly hilarious but some parts are just too crude for me lar. No class leh. Hahaha.. I know a lot of guys will hit me for this. Maybe girls will enjoy the plot more. Super funny, definitely worth a watch.

Spirit of Adventure! UP is a must- watch. Hahaha... Yet another Pixar success. I think I was moved to tears at one point of time... the scene when he was reading the Adventure book i think. OK im lousy. haha. anyway... the little boy brought back memories of my girl guide days for some reason. =) Listen out for all the accompanying music. Very nice and hits the right emotional notes all the time.

Contrary to those who wrote bad reviews for this movie, I actually liked G.I Joe! Walked into the cinema with hongwei and jenyi not knowing what this movie was about at all. But I walked out completely satisfied. My favourite hero Duke. Byung-hun Lee is definitely an eye candy too. Hehe. Sienna Miller looks quite cool in her suit. But it seemed to me that she was limping half the time in her heels. She reminds me of Megan Fox. HAHA. Anyway, those who like Transformers would like this I guess. The plot is basic, the characterisation is simple and to the point. But the effects are WOW! I love all the action hehe. Car chase, biological weapons, laser weapons, missiles, dynamites, on ice, on deserts, underwater, in the air, on land... u list it they have it. beat Transformers hands down! Ignore those reviews and go watch!

Next movies:

Coco Avant Chanel, G-Force, The Proposal.

Okae enough! Time to mug!

Of timetables.

2009-08-11T09:47:00.000-07:00

At last look, my timetable seems quite alright. Mostly 3 days, but for some weeks thurs is a half day. =)

Sad to say, I did not get my first choice AHSS elective, Mind Over Stress. they gave me Working in the 21st Century.

What's the diff? One more written assignment as compared to a mid-term quiz for MOS. YIKES! MOS exam has MCQ, but Working in the 21st Century is all essay based.

But this timetable I feel is very misleading. Now to all the envious folks out there, here comes the REAL NBS timetable.

And i think my timetable is quite fine alr, considering i dont stay in hall. hehe.

HAHAHA...

okae its not that bad lar. Depends on how much you want to mug.

for me, time passes very quickly in school.

Project time is fun time if u get nice people who do their work fast and then we can all go catch movies and eat nice food. HINT HINT. I don't really miss school that much, but i sometimes miss suppers at "Ah Fang" and Pioneer.. And nua-ing at the canteens listening to them talk and laugh.

My favourite day of the week is SATURDAY!! the most fulfilling day.

In our quest to sculpt better bodies, shell, pj and I are going to incorporate gym/swimming on one of the days. not confirmed which day yet but it'd be so nice to work out with best friends. haha. Interested please join! Jurong West Sports Complex!

Tuition is a good source of income. But I didnt enjoy it previously. Bad students and parents who keep owing fees. But this year, i'm enjoying! Even though my mum feels that im stupid not to take sec sch or jc students. I feel that primary school kids are easier to motivate and mould. =P And sometimes I really feel quite happy just talking to them about their favourite stuff. My kids are in Pri 2 and 4. Sounds cute bah. =) They're quite smart leh.. And good parents help alot too.

So that's it, xiaolee's final year....

I was thinking, they used to call us freshmen.

Now we're STALE.

OLD...

hahaha.

Anti-social

2009-08-10T10:54:00.000-07:00

Woke up on a rainy morning with a bad migraine and swollen eyes. Haha. Valid enough reasons to be anti-social and continued sleeping.

Woke up again, printed all the notes for Week 1 of school.

Went to sleep again.

Woke up again, decided i should do something about my room otherwise it's bad for fengshui.

So TADA!

The before and after!

[caption id="attachment_1452" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Presenting to you... Mariah of the day! "][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1453" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Room BEFORE"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1453" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="room AFTER!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1453" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Work Station BEFORE"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1453" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Work Station AFTER!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1453" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Shelves BEFORE"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1453" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Shelves AFTER!"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1453" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="And maybe i shall hand this deflated balloon over to other princesses holding their 21st soon. Or maybe my daughter when she holds her 21st party. Ah. The impractical stuff. "][/caption]

Okae the clutter will come back in no more than 2 weeks once school starts. Household chores are yucky.

Swept and mopped the floor too. Finally. I think I take up too much space. That's why cleaning up takes up the whole afternoon.

When I grow up, I want to have my own maids and gardeners and cooks and stylists. Heh.

But I think Im already grown up le.

Now that I've decluttered the space around me, its time to de-clutter the stuff inside of my heart.

That's a chore.

I shall go to sleep first and think tmr.

On this game

2009-08-09T09:59:00.000-07:00

Maybe liting is right.
Nobody likes to give. Everyone wants to take and take.

Maybe chengjung is right.
You got to give and give. Give and give. Until a point when you're tired of giving and eventually u'll stop and think, why am i giving so much? Is she worth it?

Maybe kaihui is right.
It's better to have lower expectations, and be happy, rather than to have high expectations, and always be disappointed.

Let's put it altogether.

...

I'm tired.
My expectations are low enough yet what you give is not what I want to take.
The last thing I want to hear from an outsider is for me hold on and treasure and cherish.

What have I been doing for the past 9 years? In my bid to hold on, to treasure, to cherish. And so much for that. I'm tired of taking what I don't really want. In order not to be seen as the ungrateful, heartless, evil party. what the hell. what am i holding on for? like really...

Why doesn't someone tell me to be more realistic and review if I'm going to continue being dissatisfied with the rest of my life? Is this who I want to, and can stick with forever?

Maybe I had been wrong. Maybe there's really this "someone out there" who's meant for xiaolee and i'm just wasting my time here, trying to change him, trying to change myself, trying to change the ways things are, and getting frustrated.

Maybe I'm just bored of this whole game.

Maybe I need a real man. With plans. With a clear idea. With some courage for honesty. Like right from the beginning and i just need to sit back and things are done the way i want them to be. Haha.

Maybe, that's me and that's when I'm asking too much. like a robot boyfriend or sth.

I feel so unsafe again. Wish this was Bintan.

I'm wrong to expect. I'm tired. I'm sleeping.

What would you give to redeem one smile?

Heartland girl in Heartland mall

2009-08-09T06:11:00.000-07:00

How else to celebrate the nation's birthday? Hit the malls and perk up the economy, not to forget super National Day deals!

Disclaimer: Extreme narcissism ahead. Read at your own risk.

The clothes can be damn ugly. But a smile can change it all. That's the power of xiaolee's charm. Why do all clothes look so nice on her? Headache lor.

[caption id="attachment_1439" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="look so toot in this dress! Couldnt try the white tee that goes with it. But the checkered design is so cute for sch. haha..."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1439" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="cool black military dress. I firmly believe that black is not a colour though... hehe"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1439" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="this is my favourite. Really summergally, with the floral bubble. Too bad i'm so flat chested. =( "][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1439" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="new style: Romper suit. Top is still okae but my legs look super short. heh. "][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1439" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="white dress that's super flattering on the skin tone. But too bad it has the pyjamas look. Haha..."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1439" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="another of those korean inspired apron. Haha. this one was halter neck but too big for me at the back =( otherwise, it's actually quite sweet heh."][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1439" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="love the graphics. love the shoulder even more. Hahaha. XIAOLEE MAKETH THE CLOTHES. "][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1439" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="just another similar dress. "][/caption]

Actually I secretly hope to be a model. HAHA.

But at 162 cm short and 47kg heavy and tiger tooth and elephant thighs... I don't think any modelling agencies wanna sign me on unless they are bold enough to explore another special kind of beauty. Muahaha.

Ah who cares la... heh. Confidence is charm. And I think I pass my own standards.
In my next life of course, I dont mind keeping the same face. But give me long, slim legs to make 170cm then i wouldnt mind being 55kg. Oh and I want a cleavage!!!!

With my grad photos next year I shall get a nice album of personal portraits taken. =) After all, we're only young once.

So flaunt it, now or never!

The Girl Who Can't Keep Afloat

2009-08-08T07:07:00.000-07:00

The girl who thought she could swim quite well realised that most people have an innate ability to float. She remembered a time when she was much younger, when she could do back stroke leisurely, lap by lap. Now, she seemed to have forgotten how to float.

"Just relax, just lay straight and look ahead. Stretch out your arms, and then you can float."

But the girl could not. She could not relax because water got onto her face and into her eyes as soon as she tried.

After several attempts, she found a little more success. A short moment of buoyancy in the sea water. 1 second, 2 second, 3...

Then fear built up. The fear of drifting away, sinking into unknown depths, struggling as salty water fills up nostrils and lungs...

A reflex action was triggered. The girl curled up onto the safety of the shallow beach.

And because of this fear, the girl can never enjoy floating along with the currents.

She used to have a natural tendency to float. But now, the fear was just pulling her down.

She looked around the beach.

It was not just the two of them anymore. The beach was dotted with other figures.

People whose names she wanted to know, but still do not.

And she saw a new wave of disappointment hit the shore.

For once, she wanted badly to float,

away.

Bintan

2009-08-06T10:57:00.000-07:00

The elements: Breeze, Sun, Clouds, Moon, Stars, Trees, Mangroves, Clear water, Powdery sand.

The fun: Spa, Dinner, Shopping, Bar, Mangrove Tour, Archery, Air Rifle, Horse Riding, Kayaking, Swimming, Gaming, Sun-tanning.

The friends: Ally the Monitor Lizard (which welcomed us and went up to the entrance of our cabana), Cute the Baby Python in the mangrove forest, The Hermit Couple on the beach, Michael Jackson the mangrove monkey, Nice guides, servers and drivers.

The nitty-gritties: Walking along the beach in the early morning with a stolen glass of orange juice from the restaurant, Cam-Whoring, Rushing to catch shuttle buses, Counting money, Trying to look touristy, Hearty breakfasts, Cuddling, Covering up holes on the beaches.

The love: Forever.

Summergally Again.

Summer photos on Facebook and Shutterfly (complete collection)

Retire by 35, buy a private beach, and build a resort style home there and live there for the rest of my life with the one I love. Swimming, Snorkelling, Fishing, Jet-sking, Kayaking everyday. Steamed fish, Unagi and Fresh Crab, Cockles and other yummies. Inviting friends over for stayovers, volleyball and nua-ing under the sun.

Wouldn't it be nice?

Spontaneous.

2009-08-02T10:25:00.000-07:00

Ever since I missed the Tioman trip, I've been telling myself, I need a break.
8 weeks of internship, my birthday blast.
And in a blink of an eye, our last summer vacation's almost over.

At this point in time next year, we'd probably be job hunting and what not.

I was thrilled when shell suggested that we go batam this week. Then it was suddenly called off and replaced with a stayover at joanne's house. That'd be fun, chilling with best buddies and all. But what i truly hoped for was different. The beach, the sun, some fun, with breezy tranquility. And the wish to get out of Singapore became more intense as I compiled the FYP proposal. I needed a break, otherwise I would die in the final year, with this monster... I needed to up my productivity.

So Bintan came to mind. I seriously think that it's a tourist trap and suspect that Singaporeans own the north cluster of Bintan Resorts. I'm secretly scared that it'd be like Sentosa. Haha. But, it'd be a quick getaway. So this idea popped into mind yeterday, that yes, I'm going to Bintan.

And I looked at my calendar. Mon, recee Southern Ridges for the kids' Amazing Race. Fri, Roller Blading @ ECP. Weekend: National Day Super Peak. 11th, SCHOOL STARTS... DREAD... So that leaves...the coming Tuesday to Thursday. =) That means tmr.

So Sunday afternoon, went to look for some packages. But 2D1N was too short for me. So we decided to go Free and Easy. Checked lots of review sites. Originally, we wanted to take up a 260 package at eastern Bintan. Then we realised that we're probably going to miss out the happening fun of Bintan at the north cluster. So we checked out the Bintan Resorts. Sucky reviews at Bintan Lagoon, better at Nirwana Gardens. Not much choice left, only a twin cabana at Nirwana Beach Club, known for all the seasports. The rest were all fully booked. But the reviews suggested that we could walk over to the higher end sister resorts and make use of their facilities too. So there =)

By Sunday night, we had the rough itinery and the total estimated cost's about 300 bucks per head, complete with Mangrove Tour, Elephant rides, Spa, Shopping and water sports and meals.

Then the most difficult part was convincing my parents. that Bintan is a safe haven like Sentosa. No bombing or what. And that I probably wont get pregnant just because I'm going alone with my guy. What was involved was the standard protocol of my mom asking me to ask my dad and then my dad neither disagreeing nor agreeing but just pointing out the dangers which I agreed with but also proposed solutions and plans with the amount of preparation I've done. And so, finally, it was not a no. That was the best I could go. Haha. Knowing them, they'd quibble after I'm not around, and ask each other who gave me permission to do this and that. And what I need to do is to come back as 1 person to shut them up. And hope they come to terms with the fact that I'm already 21!

Booked the cabana and the spa. Hope i'd be good for water sports by the second day.

So now I'm happy and smiling.

Its 5am

2009-07-30T14:42:00.000-07:00

I think it must have been the coffee i had during tuition. Can't sleep at all.

Talk about bad skin and all.

Spent a good day as a monkey today. Fun. Then realised that, mebbe we were just trying to try.

You know. Good Girls should keep a good distance away from guys who are attached.

Like physically.

Because, guys are stupid and blind. They get easily confused. the animals.

You're lucky if it's a temporary defect, that when the cloudy effect wears off he remembers to sniff you out of the crowd again.

But what if it's not?

I'm just, very sad with this generation of girls who have no... i don't know what they call this. Virtue? Integrity? Shame? Or are they just plain stupid? I don't get it.

a lot of people blame it on the girlfriend's sense of insecurity. To a certain extent yes. But, intuition is always right. As a good boyfriend you should know what is acceptable and what is not for your girl. And respect that if you love her. One sign is if you find yourself constantly lying to your girlfriend you KNOW that she wont like it then why do u still do it PLUS the lying part? because u are blind and confused. Most girls are animals too. who, like me, can sniff out lies. all the time.

You're a girl and you should know better, what the distance should be. Like, what are you trying to show? That you're better? that men are stupid in general? that you can be good friends "only" with my guy? That I'm not open-minded enough?

If I care, it's because I love you. If I'm possessive, it's because I'm scared of losing you. Which part of the female brain is so difficult to understand and adapt to?

Destroyers. Throw bad eggs at them.

NJC girls 1989. I don't really wanna stereotype. But sometimes, love is just like that. There's no reason. The song that can make you cry for years. The same place that can make you chilly all of a sudden. the same type of girls that make you wanna beware of. haha... that sort of thing. if you love with your heart, if u ever build common dreams with someone... you become like this...

you know. its 5am. emo time. for my past, for your present.

stay well my friend. we love you too. =)

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="677" caption="You risk tears if you let yourself be tamed."][/caption]

做你的男人

2009-07-29T10:38:00.000-07:00

刚开始还觉<做你的男人> 是一首蛮好听的歌。可是看了看歌词，就改变了主意。

要做我的男人，恐怕不能只给那些些浪漫情节。

因为爱情真的不可以当面包。

It's true that a real man is different from a boyfriend.

Sometimes, I look out for him. =)

A clear-headed man with a specific ambition in life which he will work towards with me.

The one man who can take on the role of my father, brother, buddy, my child's father, in time to come.

My man will be like... the dependable, multi-functional, Swiss Army knife.

So dependable i can trust him with my hair and three meals. heh. dearie helped me make those waves. Although I slept on them and the next day huiqian and cj said that I looked like i forgot to comb my hair. HAHA! But it was very nice when it was just done!

Have been going out everyday, and had my third k session of the week today. Tmr, Forest Adventure at Bedok Reservoir! =)

Hope it wont be too scary, with my man around.

Fuggly Accountant

2009-07-28T10:04:00.000-07:00

I've had enough of their unprofessional work.

I wonder what they are lacking. Proper accounting knowledge, Brains, or simply Ethics.

Every monthly tax invoice that comes in with mistakes. And everytime we update her she says she can only take order from the project manager. The fuggly project manager who is totally oblivious to what's going on in the project.

To hell with stupid excuses. A mistake is a mistake.

Furnished the same documents three times, EVERY SINGLE MONTH. and every month she calculates something wrongly and back-charges dad for the most ridiculous stuff ever. Accomodation for workers who've already returned to India 3 months ago. Issuance of security passes to workers who do not even belong to our company. Unauthorised hacking of tiles somewhere not even in the scope of the project. Fines for safety violations of foreign workers whose names we've never heard of. not one month, 2 months, but EVERY month.

Tell me, when will it stop?

Why, it takes 2 illiterate people to point out all their mistakes and 1 Marketing student to consolidate all the overcharges and point out to her that she needs to refund us the amount PLUS GST otherwise it takes forever to get the damn money which shouldnt have been deducted from the claims in the first place. And they need a RED letter to the boss of the boss of the boss, before they will act upon it.

Sometimes, i think idiots like these contribute to my Dad's high blood pressure.

Angry.

You know, this is a one man show. and it doesnt help that dad's office is just in the back yard. I've no intention to go into the construction industry although I know that my Dad is probably the best subcontractor in Singapore, JB and some say Batam. But when idiots like these screw things up, we kids are obliged to wake up early in the morning to help type letters and fax stuff and make calls. Because we know English and we can count.

Okae mebbe i'm no longer a kid. But, working for my Dad is not exactly the best position around because he's a stubborn perfectionist, pretty much like me.

Anyway, I try NOT to meddle with the company's affairs. But sometimes, I just get dragged in.

And it's very sian lor. If everyone does their job well and responsibly, I won't get this kind of saigang alr, right?

Inefficient people should just be FIRED for the good of clients and suppliers.

Bleah. I hope the project ends soon, and we work with a better contractor with a better accounting department.

Will not follow blindly

2009-07-27T09:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think, what is the world coming to? Why do people want to let their brains rot?

xiaolee is at HIGH risk of getting caught eating and drinking on the trains. Just yesterday, I took 2 sips of plain water on the train and today I ate a lozenge and took a sip of water so that's about $120 in total. Like. Totally.

From a passenger's POV:

Rules have rationales to them. Rules exist to protect privileges of others. That's the spirit of the law. The main reason why we should not eat is because eating creates litter. So the simple answer is to ban eating. But, is eating the only factor that contributes to littering? Second, MUST eating lead to littering?

So then they insisted. "We need to DRAW A LINE." No medicine, no breast feeding, no sweets, no water, no lozenges. And best of all, no seats. =) Forever no seats.

"Moving People, Enhancing Lives." Tell me which part of your corporate mission this rule fits. Please.

I don't eat noodles on the train. Spare me this shit.

Why do people have brains but don't use them enough?

It's really true. bombing a whole building to look for one hiding terrorist. Brainless.

Just rambling. Not been fined yet and I'd try to keep it that way.

How I spend my vacation (Part 3)

2009-07-24T10:21:00.000-07:00

This week:

Mon: Rot

Tue: Shopping at Far East Plaza, Orchard ION, council outing

Wed: Shopping at JP with mom and sis

Thurs: LAN (Most damage to Witch) and Pool (Didnt win any game)

Fri: FYP meeting (Work to do)

Sat: SHG

Sun: Compile FYP proposal and PA report

How I spend my Vacation (Part 2)

2009-07-24T10:14:00.000-07:00

My online routine:

Log on to my Hotmail to check the Inbox. (Usually 1-2 mails)

Check Junk. (Usually 50-60 mails: Facebook updates, Friend Requests, Birthday Reminders, Blog comments to approve, and other junks)

Check NTU Inbox. (Usually junk, I feel)

Check Facebook (Pictures, a game or two, take some quizzes, update status)

Blog on Wordpress. Click Publish.

Go to my blog to edit my new post and make changes if necessary.

Click on each and every link on my friend's lists to read their blog.

Listen to songs while reading/ online shopping.

This whole routine takes about 2 hours every night. =) That's why I don't watch TV. And that's why advertising on the TV primetime will never reach Xiao Lee.

I wonder who's like me.

How I spend my vacation (Part 1)

2009-07-24T10:01:00.000-07:00

Vacation has been carefree so far. I hope it wouldnt end too soon.

I'm a low involvement when it comes to purchasing fiction. I buy books with the "BESTSELLER/AWARD WINNING" tags on their covers (Although I'm having lots of doubt about what New York Times actually do cos seems like every book is their best seller these days.)

Recently I'm hooked to my new book. The Time Traveler's Wife, by Audrey Niffenegger. I've noticed it in Kino a couple of times. But this time the cover changed slightly, with the tag " NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE". That was when I decided to buy it. This story is about a guy with chrono-deficiency, so he would lapse back and forth into his future and past. The narration is quite boring, it's dual perspective, one by his wife and one by him. And it's a love story.

I think I can better appreciate love stories in books than in movies. Don't know. I've never seen a good love story movie before. I get bored by love stories in movies. My criteria for a romance movie.

Actors must be damn handsome. Actresses must be compatible.

No shoddy sexual/kissing scenes. Too blatant. I hate it when people start unrobing unnecessarily.

NATURAL, the little things that matter. not like lin zhi ling in Chi Bi 1, trying to mummify Tony Leung with all her tender bandaging. Not missed calls and lost love letters. Or tear jerking cliches. Definitely not forced romance (Think Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Yikes) Maybe one good example will be Jay's Secret.

Short and Sweet. The Leap Year was nice until a certain point of time it became totally repetitive and boring.

Oh shucks. I digressed again. Let me try to make a point.

I like my book. I hope the movie will be equally good. =)

Of high achievers

2009-07-21T21:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's outing with the council people has allowed me to see the bigger world.

Let me see.

Dani is on STB scholarship, doing Tourism and Hospitality in Switzerland.

Liyi is in Hong Kong, doing a Jornalism and Econs double major

Huixuan is in UK, doing Speech Therapy

Phey Wa is on PSC Scholarship. full stop. haha.

And Ang Chieh and Hong Zhen, they are all in prestigious colleges in UK.

But of course, not everyone is overseas. Of those in Singapore,

Kailing is on Police Scholarship, doing Law in SMU.

Charl and Huizhong are future doctors and surgeons.

Yuqin is in Dentistry.

I'm proud of our batch of high achievers. But that was when I also started to think that I'm the last of the lot. Which is true. Where am I? Business, NTU.

No scholarship, no exchange, no nothing. genuinely pathetic. cooped up in pulau ntu. My most global exposure was my P&G internship.

I've fallen behind them, and a sense of inferiority hit me hard. And for a while I was thinking of ordering another drink to drown my sorrows, looking at my "bleak" future. Haha.

Now now, there are 2 ways of coping.

On a more positive note, I've learnt. To be the best I can be, wherever I am. My achievements may still pale in comparison, esp among this batch of high flyers. But that's always the best motivation isn't it? That I should never be complacent. I'm not yet at the top of the top, where I want to be.

Then again, thats the Singaporean mentality again. Why do I even need to be there in the first place? Haha.. So that I can go to a gathering next time without feeling too much of an inferiority, lor. Oh yeah, and so that I have enough money to own my display cabinet of Prada and Gucci and LV in my bungalows. No. I need to be the top of the top because that is my SIM's lifetime wish. An aspiration to be successful. A personal ambition.

Another way of looking at it, The good things about being more mediocre.

I'm doing a 3 year course. Short, sweet, nice.

I have a double specialisation that gives me and edge across 2 major functions.

I don't have to BONDED... 4,5,10 years..

I can choose to start my own business.

I passionately BELIEVE in brands.

=) More balanced already.

Life is just like this. But someday, I really need to get out of this tiny island to explore a bit.

My 21st - Updated

2009-07-20T02:33:00.000-07:00

This is my first update as a full-fledged adult. No longer a Minor! =)

Wednesday 15th July
My first bdae surprise from the 6Lers. Fish&Co at JP with nice Bakerzin cake!

: Surprise at Fish & Co.

Friday 17th July
Day of the Spoiled Princess. "BORING!"
Lunch at KuiShinbo JP. Food and service are both horrible. Never go there again. "Boring!"
Dear wanted me to take a Princess balloon out but I refused. "Boring!"
Went to Carke Quay and took the bumboat on Singapore River. There wasnt enough space at the deck. "Boring!".
But we had the whole interior of the boat to ourselves so we took lots of pictures at our own privacy =)
I like the boat ride but it was too short. "Boring!"

[caption id="attachment_1356" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Dear on the river"][/caption]

: Me on the river!

Walked around exploring touristy places of Clark Quay. Then to Vivo! Was told that i'd be in for some surpise. Was led to the amphi-theatre, where I was genuinely expecting some kind of show. bird show or sth i dunno (and thinking to myself "BORING...."). Then Dear started to act suspiciously and asked me to sit back face the stage. That was when I decided that he must be hiding sth from my sight. And sure enough, a bunch of angels came with a nice Awfully Chocolate Banana Cake and that was the end of my Boring day.

: Surprise at Vivo!

We walked to Harry's at Harbourfront. They ordered a Flaming Lamborghini for me while I was in the washroom. It was pretty!! It looked like this:

[caption id="attachment_1357" align="aligncenter" width="80" caption="Flaming Lamborghini"][/caption]

Got to sip it down in a mouthful when the flame is still lit. It was not hot but rather a nice warm feeling in your throat and stomach. Heh. I like.

: At Harris

Then we got crazy with all the little drinking games. Nice and cosy. I like!

Saturday, 18th July
Slacked around in the morning.
Cake arrived at around 5pm. Early birds from SHG arrived at about 6+ to help me with the decor. THANKS!

: Early birds!

Food arrived. People started streaming in. Was worried about the quantity of the food but luckily quite a few people bang-seh last minute haha.. oh yeah answering those annoying calls from the 73 people for directions, i thought i gave it long long ago! "Boring!"

The caterer was Manna Pot Catering. Service was quite good over the phone and email. Very polite people. However, they used white table cloth at first! OMG. isnt that for funerals? and the finger food like eclair and brownies were not too bad. But their rice and noodles were totally cui in my opinion. "Boring!" . Mom fried some stuff for me but I guess they were abit overdone. hahaha... But the variety was good I guess. I had a bit of everything!

Everything went well until it rained. Intuition told me that it would rain but since I only had 3 tables, i didnt think much of it. But still it rained. "Boring". So everyone went into the house and it was totally humid and hot. =( I wish I had more time to interact with everyone. Was fun talking and mingling. I think James met a few girls of my NBS mates from his expertise in Taroting. Nice to see those people I havent been in contact with for a long long long long time.

9pm, cake cutting and phototaking =)

: my birthday cake

: 05S73

: 05S73

: Red Angels

: Family n Dear

: NBS Classmates

: 6L2000 Barbie and Kens

10.30 pm: End of Party and clear up
11.30 pm: Watched Harry Potter with the NBS classmates who stayed over. The movie was super boring and draggy. I've hardly been a fan of Harry Potter anyway, but I thought the Phoenix episode was quite nice with all the effects and stuff. This one made me super sleepy.

Sunday, 19th July
4am: Reached home, bathed, slept, sent friends off at 7+am, continued to sleep
1.30 pm: woke up, present time! =)

[caption id="attachment_1358" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="The presents!"][/caption]

This is a little thanks list for all your gifts. I love them all very much, But I love you all more. =)

So most items on my wishlist have been checked at least once.

I love the white Esprit bag shared by the QPS people! Good for school! Thanks to Kiang Hon, Rui Xiang, Jonathan, Huan Cheng, Josiah, Iswan, Jackson, Shuyi!, Yashu and Shirley. For the cake too! Look forward to our Genting trip end of the year!

I received another white Esprit handbag from Jane and Zhipeng! It's a smaller version of what the QPS people gave me! Thanks for the chic bag! Good for chilling out with!!

Yet another white bag from some of the 73 girls, Xinhui, Georgia, Cheeyun. Hahaha... I've got 3 white bags! Thanks girls!

And the second thing on my wishlist was triple checked too. 3 WALLETS! Hahaha...
Qiren and Xinhao got me a very sweet one from Jimmy SPa.

[caption id="attachment_1366" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="The Prettiest Wallet!"][/caption]

The NBS classmates also got me a brown one from Jimmy SPa! Then my bros gave me a dark coffee wallet which can serve as a pouch as well. THANKS!

The coolest stuff I got... A white cap from Hong Wei!! A pair of sunglasses from Joanne and Gary. Thanks for these! I need them to defend my ageing skin against the sun. hohoho..

[caption id="attachment_1360" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Cool! "][/caption]

Most of the Red Angels gave me a 10 in 1 hairstyler! HAHAHA... very versatile and easy to use! Where's the card where's the card? Okae I shall thank Xueling, James, Eugene, Yu hui, Yuhan, Kai Hui ... and all the others who shared!

It's fun to see how people interpreted Skincare and Comestics too. First up, Dearie gave me a Vichy Whitening Set. He almost gave me a Revitalift Set until I convinced him that it's for old ladies like Gong Li with wrinkles. Then he said that it's for the Paris trip for 2. BLEAH.

Inge sent her regards with a nice Body Shop blusher with a retractable brush! SMELLS NICE!

Thanks to Junhong and Lileng, I've got LOTS of Sephora vouchers for a good shopping spree!

YUP! Then there are the creative bunch who's got me stuff outside of my wishlist!

I got a CHOO CHOO notebook from the NBS people too! YAY! Now hq and cj can scribble in my book too. They wrote all their well-wishes in random pages of the book. Thats the sweetest gift of the lot! Thanks to Huiqian (for picking too!), Qiaoyun, Yoketeng, Cheng jung, Eileen, Liting, Shenghua and Cassie!

[caption id="attachment_1361" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="My new Scheduler "][/caption]

The cutest gift is from Veron (& JAY!): miniature chocolates! And it comes in a set! So pretty that I can't bear to open the individual boxes. I need to invest in a display case to put them out! Will post more pictures of those in time to come.

[caption id="attachment_1362" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Mini Chocolates! "][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1363" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="The whole SET!"][/caption]

I got The SIMS 3 from the rest of the 73 friends! HAHAHA... interesting gift for a 21st birthday. I'd have been hooked on it for weeks if not for my laggy lappie. When I bought it, I told the shopkeeper i play minimal games so just give me the min quality Graphics. LOL! Hope that I'd get my lappie reformated and upgraded real soon, then I'd post the screenshots of all the 73 SIMS!

Oh my... This has been a long long update. =)

Thanks everyone. Hugs!

Barbie & Ken Guestbook

First Celebration and other fun

2009-07-15T00:00:00.000-07:00

A white stray puppy has just been picked up and adopted by my mum and sis.

What can I say? Dogs look stupid, and are stupid. They don't have an ATTITUDE. I just hope it stops chewing up my shoes.

Went to JB yesterday for a shopping spree. So let me review a few shopping malls.

Pelangi Plaza is very small. Not much clothes. But the things are cheapest as compared to other malls in JB. There's Secret Recipe so we stopped there for lunch after running an errand for my mom.

Holiday Plaza is quite big. It has a small departmental store. Nice salons at good prices. Gothic clothes and punky stuff for cosplay and street style. Finally, if you're looking for snacks and JB flavours, Holiday Plaza has lots of those. And it's just behind dear's house. Oh and nice fake stuff from Chanel, Dior, Gucci and Prada.

But my favourite is still City Square. It's the biggest mall (of the 3 I went yest) and it's just across the causeway. Most clothes and shoes! But the prices are relatively more expensive since their target audience are mostly Singaporeans. Anyway, there's ETUDE house there! For youngsters, theres an Inner-City which is like the small alleys of Heerens and Vivocity.

I miss Jusco though. Maybe we can have a JB shopping trip some day. complete with movies and KTV! Cabbing from mall to mall is real cheap too. Try that in Singapore. But of course, one runs the risk of getting robbed/kidnapped. Then that's a very different story. Very common and very scary. So I'm always very careful. The best is wear lok kok clothes and dont bring any bag. Which leads me to my next point.

In the evening, I met up with the qihua bunch for dinner at JP. And i was totally... Hahaha... in a bad shape.

And then those guys celebrated my birthday for me in advance. I was totally caught by surprise. Unprepared!

And the worst thing was that Fish n Co had this bunch of crazy crew who made me stand on the chair and hold a sparkler while they did a crazy cheer for me in the middle of the restaurant! Hahaha. So paiseh. The girls got me Chocolate Amer from Bakerzin which I was contemplating to get for my own party! Best =)

Thanks to Shuyi who was the organiser of this gathering. It's been almost a decade since we graduated! and we still have so much to talk about everytime we meet up. It's a nice feeling I like. I'd see some of them on my party too. Hehe. Can't wait.

Side note: I still dont like Fish n Co because the food sucks and they spoil the fish and prawns all the time with all the OIL. But one thing redeeming is always their service attitude and enthusiasm, be it at the Glass House or in JP. Really makes it a nice place for gathering.

Okae! I'm on the first diet of my life. A DETOX diet. No oily or spicy food. And MORE water and nuts and fruits and berries and aloe vera and veggie oil. Hopefully I'd have better radiance because my dark rings and face worsened esp after my P&G stint. It's Irreversible Damage which makes me UGLY. I've been sleeping earlier too so hopefully that helps. Agh.

I wish I have beautiful skin naturally. But it's all in the genes.

That's all. Photos next time!

He's just not that into you

2009-07-11T09:32:00.000-07:00

I burnt only about 400+ calories in total. bf was late and we almost didnt make it to the gym.

Movie marathon was boring with only 4 of us. But the movies were nice. Watched Knights Tale, Ramen Girl, rewatched confessions of a shopaholic.

I like He's just not that into you. The women inside are like TOTALLY brainless... but that what makes them hilarious too. And I think how many of us are really like them? "like totally.." haha.

Concepts of love that xiaolee will never believe in:

Love at first sight

Everlasting love

Unconditional love

Love of your life, a soulmate

Lets talk about concept number 4 today. Do you believe in soulmates? The one Love of your life whom you havent met? Are you afraid that you might one day regret marrying someone else who's not the ONE?

For me, no such thing as a soulmate. And I dont think we should believe in that one person at all. cos it's going to make your life super miserable if he isnt here anytime soon. you'd keep thinking about the un-right things abt ur current partner. making life miserable for him as well.

I think we should treat whoever we love now as the love of our life, and not think about who else better will come along.

I think if everyone thinks like me and shows it with action, then there would be so much more time to love and less heartaches...

Then again, I'm the exception. Exceptionally lucky. So perhaps the way I look at love is way too simplistic. As simplistic as the barney song. perhaps too simplistic for people who've changed 10+ partners in 20 years just to find the "right one".

But think about it, what's the point of making things so complicated? Think about it 1) what's the possibility of you waiting for and meeting the right ONE in thousands of men? One week to catch him, spend a month with him, know that he's wrong, one week to move on, one week to catch number 2, another month, know that he's wrong, move on, one week to catch...Then think again, 2) what's the possibility of making the person just before your eyes, right for you?

So obviously 2 is a higher possibility. Then there are 3 ways of doing it to make the person right for you. a) Change the person. b) Change yourself. c) Change the way you look at the person. in that order.

Example, I hate it when Dear scratches his chin exessively. Makes him look like a se bei bei to me.

a) Change the person: Positive/negative reinforcement. Praise him whenever he doesnt scratch for a day, or maybe pinch his hand everytime he does.

b) Change yourself: Scratch your chin like a se bei bei for a whole week to let him see your point.

c) Change the way you look at the person: Philosophers and scientists also scratch their chins when in deep ponder. Make the association of chin scratching with these instead and you will start to forget about the se bei bei part. And soon you'd not get angry if you see him scratching his chin.

ahhh... i think im such a wise and nuturing lover. MUAHAHA.

anw, unless we've exhausted these 3 options for all the things we hate about him/her, we don't say that he/she is not the right person for us. =)

Oh yeah, it takes a lot of give and take too.

Always give your best shot for your love!

Log: 3rd day of vacation

2009-07-09T10:24:00.000-07:00

Finally started on PA Report yesterday. so far so good. About 1200 words out of the 2000. Shall finish by this weekend.

Today, was supposed to meet Eugene and Hong Wei for my first LAN experience. But hw had sth on and there were only 3 of us. We played CS for a while but stopped cos it was too bloody. Then we played Left4Dead which is an exciting game whereby you have to shoot zombies and help one another to survive. Then we played Attack on Pearl Harbour which was basically shooting one another down from the sky.

After that, Eugene brought us to this place called West Coast Recreation Centre to play pool. heh. He's a super duper pro!!! I think Dear and I both levelled up after playing with him.

Heh. Fun and relaxing day.

Tomorrow: Gym in the morning, Movie Marathon at my house in the afternoon with the shg volunteers. Tuition at night.

Sat: SHG, PA Report

Sun: PA Report, Clear Room, Eileen's party]

What presents?

Some nice people have sent out intelligence to check what I want for my milestone birthday and thats the big question I keep getting. Actually, my top 10 wishes cannot be bought. But of course, everyone will have material needs and thats why wishlists on blogs usually become more conspicuous before birthdays. Heehee...

My updated wishlist is still on the Craves page, but please don't feel restricted to those! With your gifts please write me some personal messages, card or sth... heee.. Thats the most important thing! Cos your friendship and your love are things I can never buy myself!

Ar... I feel super thick-skinned for asking. But I'm super excited, as you can probably tell by now. =)

2009-07-07T10:49:00.000-07:00

Internship stuff

Don't think I did very well in my finals. I'd be waiting for HR to calibrate my performance with the other interns... and meanwhile my managers couldn't excite or demoralise me, so all I heard was "Good job", great presentation.." And the scary thing is, I'd know by August, if i get a job upon graduation. This is marketing's Catch, Hook, Close. Close out competition completely with their talent 1 year before their graduation.

The main takeaway of this internship is that I've learnt more about the company culture and the marketing function. More so than digital marketing or other skills. I think, I shouldn't pin too high hope on anything now, since I'm obviously not the best in the internship cohort. I'd be really happy if they want me, but I'd also be worrying if I might be better at other industries which i didnt have a chance to explore. If they don't want me, I'd be Really Sad. Like DAMN sad that I'm not good enough. So either way, I'm at the sad/worrying end. Which is bad for health. Ah. So to be optimistic, I'm just glad that I had my chance with P&G. And my future will still be as bright whether or not I'm in.

Doing now:

Preparing for the party, for which food and cake is the most troublesome thing. Hope the menu would be nice.

Trying to book a trip to Redang but still finding WOM.

Watched Ice Age 3 today and I personally feel that it's a major flop because I was only 20% entertained. Haha. Maybe I had too high expectations. Should have watched Drag Me to Hell instead.

Trying hard to get started on the PA report and also to clean my room. SIAN.

Tech stuff

I'm starting to miss my office laptop. Although Dell sucks big time because its dell, it's got a better RAM and everything. So at least I could open a few tabs at a time.

Think its about time to clean up the inside of ToshiLee and probably update and upgrade some parts.

A part of me has been contemplating Nokia N97:

Why this over iPhone/Blackberry?

Good videos and pictures.
xiaolee feels safer with real buttons to press.
Love the Querty =)
iPhones for kids to show off. Blackberries too old.
im a nokia loyalist.

And basically WIFI is just about everything I need to avoid high GPRS charges now.

Tomorrow:

Half of report.

Projecting

2009-07-05T01:31:00.000-07:00

Last Friday was a sad day in office.

Went to office early in the morning, but my seat has been taken over by another lady. Even though we've got a hotelling system and no fit seat, I was still quite sad that I was made to leave that seat that I've called mine since Day 1. Haha..

Tried to focus on my pres. Finalised everything at about 6.15pm. But the ROI and resources needed were still killing me. Everyone told me different things. So there, I decided to ask my buddy for some last advice.

And then I went on communicator and all of them were offline already. My buddy had gone home, my coach was still in Philippines, and offline. I had Maggie online though, so I chatted with her for a while. And I guess that I let too much of my lack of confidence show because she said something really encouraging.

I just needed some guidance and support there, on a Friday evening, but no one was there. It was like Week 1 all over again.

I wish I had more faith in myself.

Steve said it'd take a year to feel you way around P&G as ABM. I can't imagine one year of such ambiguity.

Hai. Times like these, I hate. Like everything is beyond my control and I'm scared.

But I turn around and then there's always someone here for me. Like him, like friends, like my families. And then things are not so bad as we smile and laugh over the weekend. I like.

Looking forward, there are lot of things that i'd have to do before my milestone bday.

PA report.

LAN! my first time.

go fill up my 4 other tooth decays.

get some nice clothes.

get the food and cake.

clean up my room, desk, bathroom.

some getaway to a nice place.

In P&G, all superiority claims are qualified with a "Reason to Believe"

I can do it well, RTB: I'm Wong Xiao Lee =)

The Last Lap

2009-07-02T08:37:00.000-07:00

Finals on Monday.

If I'm good, I get a job. If I'm not good, I don't get a job. Sweet.

How to be good?

Make simple, actionable recommendations.

Support the recommendations with solid evidence.

Present the recommendations with style.

Sweet.

You know, there are some people who just can't win in Chess or Othello. Because they don't look far ahead. They don't know how to set people up in their own trap. They don't know how to win. They take it step by step, giving concrete rationale for that one little step they take now. But fail to account for the whole game eventually.

And sometimes, I think I'm that sort of person. (I can't win Chess or Othello.)

Frank, honest, not scheming. Unfortunately, Stupid.

Maybe I'm not stupid. Maybe I have a self-esteem problem somewhere deep down. Maybe my recommendations are good. Maybe I'm good. I don't have solid evidence. I don't have consistent data. It's almost like an art. It's difficult to set benchmark. It's difficult to compare and choose.

I don't know.

I've never had such a challenging time and task before. I'm glad for this opportunity. Cos if I can handle this, I can handle all the rest that comes my way.

Right?

Right.

okae. Sleep.

Chop off my head.

2009-07-01T07:25:00.000-07:00

I'm dying from migraine.

Supposed to wake up at 7.30 am. Snoozed till 8.30am. Snoozed till 9.30 am. Smsed Steve. Slept till 12.30pm. Snoozed till 1pm.

By the time i reached office, it was already 2pm. Dragged myself there, only to rmb that Steve and Pooja are both not in office. Steve was working from home, while Pooja is in Philippines. Would have stayed at home if not for the conference call with the DMM.

Then dragged myself home again at 6pm.

My head is exploding. I'm getting more and more of this shit these days. Think I spent 5 out of my 8 weeks stint with a perpetual headache. And when I get my headache, I can't think properly. I can't talk properly. And I drag myself in and out of office.

and I just feel like sleeping or crying. Sure signs of PMS. only thing it lasts FOREVER.

It's bad. I need to see my doctor soon. Ive had enough. Chop off my head.

Finals on monday. Feeling weak and screwed.

Sleep.

Preparation

2009-06-29T08:42:00.000-07:00

Finally decided on the theme =)

I chose Barbie and Ken because it's flexible enough, from glam to casual, there's a Barbie in each of us.

My second choice was XL. like everyone would come in sth that's oversize. But that'd look quite dumb I guess.

And my third choice was Corporate. HAHA... and it was eliminated immediately by common sense.

Anyway, don't think too much about the theme. It's just marketing. =)

I'm very lazy with the invites already. Keep missing people out. My list is this:

Red Angels, NTU friends, Qihua, 05S73, Council, Guides, P&G interns. If you're on this list, you'll be my lovely guest.

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=93466382439&ref=nf

Please RSVP on FB or sms me!

It's gonna be big and messy. Don't know how I'm going to do it. Just hope the food would be good, and I'd have a nice evening with my friends.

And then, I'm gonna start my adulthood with a blast of a holiday. =)

I love July. It's a summergally month with loads of birthdays.

My lovely weekend. Transformers, SHG, HZ's party

2009-06-28T01:11:00.000-07:00

Shall write cohesively and concisely today. =)

1. Transformers is a must watch to a large extent.

Was deciding among treating my bros, going with the class people, or going with the interns. All want to watch Transformers! In the end someone booked a 10pm ticket and got the first advantage. We watched till 1am and walked home from JP. nice.

Megan Fox is hot. Damn hot. Her job was to run about with the guy and tear when needed. And she did it pretty well.

Cool effects! Though I wish they had something more gory.. haha.

The story's kinda long and the climax was a little draggy, esp the dreaming part.

Otherwise, 4/5!

2. Spent a lovely morning and afternoon with the red angels.

Went for the training called "Creative Strategies to boost a Child's Self-esteem". I related the things I've learnt to me personal experience. I think as a young child I had a good balance. My parents were never satisfied. My teachers, on the other hand, would be easily impressed. And so I enjoyed being every teacher's pet, and I did every piece of work well, checking and rechecking to make sure that it would be perfect enough to deserve some recognition as model essays, model answers. I think I got all my self-esteem from school. And the way I see it, there must be a good balance. Come think of it, my parents and teachers probably had it planned out that way so that I would continue striving for excellence and never getting complacent.

Went to SMU settlers with the Jurong volunteers for some board games. Had mostly reaction games and we played Quelf for quite long it got kind of boring.

3. Huizhong's party was a blast.

Bumped into kailing at SMU and we decided to head down to ecp together. On the way there, we were so shocked to see huizhong and her bf inthe same train as us! As it was supposed to be a surprise party, we werent supposed to tell her anything! Anyway, I couldnt help giggling and she was super suspicious of me. In the end her bf managed to get her off at Paya Lebar while we continued our journey.

Met up with Cherlyn and we cabbed down to Sunset Bay Garden Beach Bar, a really romantic and nice place with loads of bougainvillea which happens to be huizhong's favourite plant.

Took lots of pictures. The food was quite impressive too.

Played random charades. Almost laughed off my chair. "Promiscuous Girls" became Promise Skewers girls. and "Like a Virgin" was totally hilarious. A Devil Wears Prada became A devil wears Prata. Armageddon became "Ah-MAgeddon".

I realised that I miss the ny days a lot. I had a lot of fun. Photos next time.

Time to rest for another week ahead. My last week in Pampers. The most intensive week before the finals.

I love weekends.

It will be on the evening of 18th July. =)

Reflections

2009-06-27T11:16:00.000-07:00

I used to complain a lot about my previous job.

But now, I don't think I have the right to. For all that I'm learning. For the way I've been paid. For the "flexibility". I really shouldnt be complaining.

9 days were extended. I couldnt do my presentation on 3rd jul cos my coach would be in philippines. So my internship is extended to 6th jul.

1 more working day if you look at it optimistically.

But it's another precious weekend gone. Esp when my presentation is on 6th.

Sometimes, I wonder when people will make time for an intern.

The world is very practical. One thing I learnt in P&G is to drive action.

An example of an email that would never be replied.

"Dear..., I am Wong Xiao Lee, a marketing intern with P&G working on a project... I hope that to know more about... Thank you"

An example of an email that would be replied to immediately:

"Dear..., I am leading the P&G digital strategy in... My team wishes to know more about..."

Tell anyone (in/out of P&G) that you're an intern, and prepare to get ignored.

Is it so difficult to reply an email?

I was trying both emails out and the results are always the same, esp when talking to agencies. Do it the right way, and you'd get an immediate reply. And if you don't reply that reply, they continue bugging you to give you the info that you want ( or don't want). Now then, you have the right to ignore them.

I tried not replying. But... I just thought it was mean. I couldnt do it. But some agencies just lack the You-attitude and it's a waste of time listening to their sales pitch.

Xiao Lee: "I would like to know what are some of the tools that we could use for our brand given so and so... "

Agency: "Sure! Let's arrange a meeting and I'd tell you more about who we are and what we do!"

Frankly, I dont care what you do, who you are. Just tell me what's useful for my brand. What's in it for me? How have others benefitted?

Maybe, its the same kind of attitude.

Others are just so not interested to know that you're an intern.

One of my intern friends got this acronym while he tried to ask someone for help on communicator.

BFN.

It stands for: Bye For Now.

And he was so demoralised he made this acronym to use to others: BFNADBMA

Bye for now and dont bother me again. =)

Friendly achievers.

Need to learn and grow.

Perspective. =)

6 more days. I feel....

I think we all have a lazy side to us. And a challenge-loving side.

I think, my tolerance for stress is pretty high. Thanks to this blog.

But maybe the fb quiz is right.

They said that my ideal man is a smart, professional businessman who's a workaholic and expects me to be a good homemaker in exchange for the loads of money he's bringing home.

Yeah. I like damn smart guys. Smart, intelligent, professional, insightful. someone smarter than me. But it's difficult to find smart guys who are nice these days. All the smart guys I know act a little too cocky in my opinion. And all the nicer guys I know, are average smart but not impressively smart.

I'm pretty dis-oriented. I don't know what I want. Like maybe, I just wanna stay at home and nurture and love my kids. Maybe, I dont like to work after all.

Am I lazy?

I can't bring myself to love the job I'm doing now. Maybe that's why.

I'm just trying to do it good and do it right and do it well. I'm trying hard.

But sometimes, I think I'm working too damn hard.

Are we supposed to enjoy working?

I don't know.

Sometimes, I wish a smart smart guy would just turn up and answer all the questions in my head.

I need to sleep. Shall blog bout my blasting weekend tmr.

This is a mess of a writing.

I should stop writing like this. It's a really bad habit.

I'm rambling.

Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T01:36:00.000-07:00

Woke up today to the news my bro was shouting to everyone.

It's kinda sad that talented people always die young.

RIP.

Feel like starting a professional blog

2009-06-22T08:50:00.000-07:00

Tired of daily rambling of my life that's so not interesting.

Feel like starting a niche blog with an interesting topic. Hmm...

First thing that comes to mind: digital marketing.

9 more working days with Pampers.

SHG outing and weekend.

2009-06-21T08:31:00.000-07:00

Turnout wasnt that great but it was a long fun day. =) I'm aching all over now!

Took 174 to kap for the first time after graduation. Saw lots of the ny kids and thought about how old i am alr right now!

Met the red angels and walked to Mayfair park to start on our laser quest mission. Was waiting for Qiren to arrive when i did something stupid by climbing the tarzan rope in the playground to swing around. That explains my aching arms now.

My team had qiren, xueling, larry, eugene and I. And we won both missions! Because of the short range wide beam gun i was holding, I was assigned with the kamikaze role of chionging in front. Kept getting killed!! There was a lot of sprinting to do, which explains my aching thighs right now. Through this game, I've learnt that hiding is not the best way to win. Whenever I hid, i got killed by some sneaky snipers. But if I ran, I could see everything around me more clearly, and if i ran fast enough i could dodge the beams too =P

Rested at Kap before taking a long long time to get to ecp. The original plan was overnight cycling there but seemed like no one was fit enough for it. So we had seafood dinner and cabbed down to kbox at downtown east. That's my first k session since exams were over on 30th April! Tried 2 of jolin's new songs!

I like Jolin to a large extent cos to a large extent, she's one of those few who knows what she's doing and what wants. Many people, including dear, prefer her when she was had real boobs and nose and the sweet face. lol. I like her songs then, but i definitely prefer her songs and her image now. Perhaps I'm not one who would be able to judge if she dances/sings well. But this achiever has impressed me with her growth and constant strive for execellence.

okae so after k session we went to pasir ris park and spent the night playing tai di and bridge with half functioning brains. would have definitely preferred the sandy beach! Then we took the the early train back home and slept for the rest of the sunday.

photos next time!

Dear and I nua-ed for the whole sunday, trying to recover from our muscle aches. His were from a recent gym visit.

Boy:" My arms are aching. Help me massage."

Girl: "I really don't understand you guys. Why the need to go gym to get these muscle aches?"

Boy:" Thought you prefer a man with muscles and abs. Now help me massage."

So my fault for loving muscles and abs! haha.. Then, stepping back, do I really need muscles and abs on my man? Haha... The trend nowadays, from my observation, is small and skinny korean boys who look more pretty than xiaolee. So, maybe i should lower my expectations, yeah?

Well well... I need to get to the gym real soon too.

ten more working days!

shopping

2009-06-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

Hooked with Barnes & Noble. It's such a sweet alternative to Amazon with simpler and cheaper shipping to Singapore.

Anyone wants anything? I'll be getting some books and games =)

Anyway, I bought my first stuff from YesAsia. No. I ordered and checked out. It's worth recording cos even though I shop alot online, it's the first time i really check out my shopping carts. Because the stuff inside are not mine lar. Merely helped with dear to get some XJapan limited edition stuff and Dian to get some Korean boyband stuff.

Anyway, if those items are successfully shipped to my house in 2 weeks or so without major mishaps then it would be quite an event to remove my digital trial barrier.

And to think I'm the one coming up with the digital strategy for Pampers.

2 more weeks to my hols. =)

I want to get THE SIMS 3!

Pre-21, and other random

2009-06-16T07:31:00.000-07:00

Mom and sis were asking about my birthday party. It's a month away. Before I know it PA would be over and I have 2 weeks to prepare. Of which I want to finish writing my 2000 word report and settle everything related to PA or sch before stepping into my adulthood proper. That'll probably take up a week if im fast enough... Settle the invites, wait for the replies, catering, choose the cake, get the venue, the programme, the logistics...

The nice thing is that, people get to come to my house. I like visits and stayovers.

The bad thing is, I don't really want to mop the floor...

Sometimes, I wish I've got a maid. or more $$$ to book a nice big place that i dont have to mop.

On last count, my invite list had 70 people. Half of whom used to be ex-good friends whom i'd really want to keep in touch with again. Esp those from ny.

But, it'll be weird right? You havent seen them in 4-5 years and all of a sudden u send them an invite. haiz.

Then there are people whom i really wish would celebrate my 21st with me but they're not back in spore yet. not their fault but... just kind of sad.

I've got one more month to grow up?

Over the weekend, tagged along to JB with dear and his gym seniors. I was joking that it was my safest trip in JB cos Dear is my escort while eugene and wenkai are his escorts. It was quite a lazy aftnn cos dear had nth planned and I was too shy to reveal my shopaholic side. But the main highlight was Thai seafood dinner which turned out to be quite filling and nice. The place had good ambience too and is worth visiting a second time. =)

Reflections

2009-06-12T08:42:00.000-07:00

I think the one challenge I need to overcome most is cross-cultural and cross-generation communication. Sometimes, it gets difficult. I really feel out of touch with the business in general. The meetings can get so dreary at times simply because I don't get what the differences are because they are asking questions that doesnt really bother me.

My mid term has been nice, fabulous, engaging, fantastic, mind blowing, impressive, a good show etc etc. Coach missed it because she was hospitalised for a week. I wish I could share my findings here. A one hour show covering our key digital strategy in our asia markets. =) Of course, the story is not complete... hopefully finals will be as good.

I want to get a new lap top soon. Toshilee is almost 3 years old. And I've messed her up. Maybe I should do a mass cleanup soon.

Today, I wanted to get the Vichy set but dear said his bro had guardian staff discount. and bcos of some stupid things we did, i feel that i'd be too embarassed to go to JP guardian and see that woman ever again. Hai.

My migraine is getting worse these days. Like at least 2 times a week. I always get a migraine when I after i over work my brain for tedious exam papers/presentations, or when i dont get enough sleep, or when i'm pms-ing. And this week it has been all three at one go.

Can't wait to go back to school. Sometimes, I feel that I'm still a little girl. But recently got to know this guy called nhiam, the assistant brand manager of the vietnam business. he was born in 1986! only 2 years older than me. I imagine 2 years later.. like if i ever end up in P&G working for a brand. And seriously, I don't see myself there, like to be as smart as all of them. so, I'd rather go back to school. school life is so much easier. you only need to be accountable for yourself. Don't like lessons? pon. hang out with friends who are not that different from you. Mug for exams, set your own goals. Straight forward and simple.

It's time to grow up man. I have one more year to grow up and get used to work.

Sometimes, confidence is lacking.

I should sleep soon.

Quick Press

2009-06-10T07:03:00.000-07:00

Xiao Lee thinks this is so Twitter.

Sleepy

2009-06-09T08:10:00.000-07:00

There. Reporting at 8am tmr.

I think the P&G guys really spend their whole life in office. Which can be good or bad depends on how you see it. Like my buddy's fiancee is in P&G too. So sweet right? So Ive been knocking off at around 7pm these days because I had to rush my slides and also to avoid the 5.30pm rush. So thats like, 2 hours on the train, 9 hours in office, 1 hour lunch, 8 hours sleep.

Still looking for the other 4 hours. hmm.

Presentation postponed to Thursday. Still not getting the ROI info that IS SO ELUSIVE. =( .

Caught a movie called Aliens Vs Monsters or sth like that. It's totally brainless. Not mentally challenging at all. A pretty nice rest for my brains.

Some Singaporean parents should just be BANNED from bringing their kids to public places. No. They should just be banned from having kids who grow up to become a bunch of nuisance just like themselves. Irritated.

SOME BRILLIANT SOUL BROUGHT ETUDE HOUSE TO PLAZA SINGAPURA!!!!!

But the stuff are retailing for twice the price on GMarket. But at least you get to test them first =), mebbe after that then mass order online. I want the whole BB Mineral set!

HAPPY TODAY.

Still random.

2009-06-08T09:05:00.000-07:00

Today has been a good Monday. The weekend work has not been wasted. =) Albet did mention some stuff that i'd have to work on though. Got to rush tomorrow.

Today has been a good Monday. Could have been better...

历史不断重演... 我好累... I need a smarter man who understands it once and for all.

I did a Facebook quiz which i felt was flattering but true. haha. okae. i realised "flattering" and "true" dont really go together.

But most of these quizzes tend to be very flattering for me. haha. Or maybe i always choose some intelligent combination of answers?

What mask do you wear?

Your mask is Beauty. You are beautiful inside and out. You aren't too aware of your beauty, although all the people around you are. There are times when you feel like you're wearing a mask, but no one around you can notice the difference with or without it. You may feel vulnerable at times, but you usually get through it. You sometimes wish you had someone to help you through those tough times, but you are always hopeful and don't give up easily. People who first meet you notice your beauty at a glance, but most people notice it when they get to really know you.

haha. i wanted to get Mask of Strength cos I thought it was pretty nice. But it's not too bad being beautiful inside out.

I've stopped playing Restaurant City because it's getting to0 brainless. I can't invest in assets like cashier machines and conveyor belts and all the stoves cook at the same slow speed. I got to make my friends clean toilets for me. And i can only feed my employees with apple/water/sandwich every 3 hours or so. CANT I WRITE THEM A MONTHLY PAYCHEQUE? And the pricing is horrendously wrong. 2 bucks per dish, ANY DISH! The game goes by the Maslow Hierachy of Needs, with CHAIR as the first need, followed by TABLE, followed by a cleared table, followed by waiting time.... My addiction is wearing off already!

They should come up with a better version soon... Something like... Markstrat Restaurant City. HAHAHA. complete with stock price indexes, ROI and market share.

Disjointed thoughts.

2009-06-06T09:37:00.000-07:00

I havent got a real break since school started in January. Recess was gone due to the elephant project. Then all the projects. Then exams came and went. Then work immediately thereafter.

I feel a bit tired.

And mid term is Wednesday, I don't know if i'm going the right direction even. I hear different suggestions from different people. Everything just seems very bleak.

Tomorrow is Sunday. I want to fix everything good before the week starts again. Help me.

Maybe upstream marketing really isnt for me. Feel like I cant think the P&G way. I'm learning a lot of different things but its hard to synthesise. Feel really stupid at times.

Okae enough whining.

I need to sing desperately. I need to see another movie. Need a day when I can sleep for 12 hours straight without thinking about anything. Doing something I really believe in.

I like Saturdays. I don't like the kids (esp the naughty ones), I don't like giving tuition, I don't like meeting troublesome parents. But it's a place I feel comfortable in. Where I feel like myself. At peace. Sometimes I feel i gain more from volunteering than the beneficiaries.

Which is why... I volunteer to be the main organiser of the SHG AMAZING RACE on 15th August 2009!!! It will be an island wide event that will end with a finale at sentosa!

In my girl guides day, we never call it Amazing Race. It's always been called a WIDE Game because... it covers a wide area. I love wide games. Esp organising those when we were in upper sec... Miss those days.

I keep looking back at those days thinking that they were the best days of my life. But what I should really do is to look at myself now and see how I can make every tomorrow better than today.

We spent one whole night in bed together, playing a game of singing songs that contains a stipulated word. He never fails to make my day. and night.

I sometimes feel that anything is possible with him around.

Maybe that is the power of love.

When you're tired, love keeps you going. It's true.

Friends are good too. Like really good, close, friends that you dont feel tired hanging out with.

I need a holiday. Somewhere, anywhere.

Tired.

2009-06-04T08:33:00.000-07:00

Worst day at work.

I feel so mentally challenged aka stupid here.

I dont get it. All the why why why why why why.

I just want to do it right...

Tmr will be better.

stressed.

When will this end?

Updates

2009-06-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

Today I was walking home in my heels and a crazy idea popped up.

There is market for shoes with removable heels. It's a pair of shoes which can double up as flats and heels because of the removable heels. Good for office and casual. I'm going to file for patent soon. The brand of this shoes is "LeeHeel". It's a palindrome. MUAHAHA.

***

Where to Play

How to Win.

Reason to Believe.

Passion for Winning.

My mid term is next wed.

I'm quite lucky to have a nice coach and buddy. Steve, esp, has been a good buddy who's been able to answer all my questions.

At times, I feel really unsure of myself. Like they are asking too much of me. My workplan says "lead" the strategy.

I don't even know if my strategies will work in reality.

Marketing is more of a science than art at times. The data that must be translated into consumer insights, and then the communication planning. One must have high tolerance for ambiguity to define boundaries in a whole load of mess. Information is all over the place. Relevant, irrelevant, bits and pieces.

Sometimes the ambiguity gets so overwhelming that I would rather be the typical saigang intern who would be told to scan documents from page whatever to whatever.

Having said that, I'm grateful that my job is very fulfilling now. Stressful. But at least I exist for a reason. I'm the first person in P&G to consolidate all the things and directing the way to go! It's nice to have a role to play in success. =P

Work aside, I'm getting sick of food in novena. Really sian unlike the city hall area. I'm also running out of office wear. =( I've mixed and matched to the maximum permutations possible and it's time to invest in new pieces. Then again, there's a question of style and these days i think i should stop buying collared striped cotton blouses that all look the boringly the same.

These 2 days I've been stealing chances to shop. Tried on so many pieces but didnt manage to get any! Waste of time man. It's difficult to find something that has a nice cut these days... HAI. GSS is not helpful at all...

I did invest in Brands' Berry Essence on top of a tub of Nivea eye cream. My original plan was to get the eye masks that liting was recommending. But they went out of stock or sth. Anyway the berry essence tastes YUMMY unlike the chicken essence. hahaha. It's the start of a new project to eliminate tired looking eye!

Although my eyes are alr pretty as they are. =) Refer to the photos below.

[caption id="attachment_1248" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Group pic with flag! "][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1249" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="One of those rare times i get bullied. So ugly haha. "][/caption]

Age is catching up.

2009-05-31T07:07:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling really bad now. Like vomitting and headache and everything. And its a much dreaded Monday tomorrow.

Age is catching up. I had about 4 hours of sleep last night.

June camp over =)

Every year the team I belong to would be the top 3 teams. This year was not an exception as we emerged FIRST. somewhat miraculously though... I do believe that we were not the best group there but were just lucky that none of the kids got caught for doing anything naughty.

Arctic fight, arctic fight! All the rest can go fly kite!

I can't believe the kids could do this cheer. haha.

i want to play the "hmm chi chi" game!

Nice weekend. Would have been better if i had more sleep.

My head is cracking. Bye.

Finally

2009-05-28T08:30:00.000-07:00

"after what seemed like eternity" is one of my pet phrases in pri sch compositions. Such phrases never fail to charm my easily-impressed teachers.

AFTER WHAT SEEMED LIKE ETERNITY, MY BOYFRIEND'S EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER!

Crazy slow can. our results are all out already and their papers are just over. Can imagine their torture.

Hopefully both of us can get good honours and good jobs. and then some day we can both fly over to the real UOL London Business School and take our MBA tgt and be classmates again!

This internship was the start and end of everything. My Tioman trip. I haven't had the chance to unwind properly since my exams ended.

I havent gone sing k yet!

So what would he be doing now?

He said that he would be spending everyday with me, rot at Novena to wait for my lunch break and then send me home.

I'd be a moron to buy that. Let's see how long he can last before his many many friends overwhelm him with the tonnes of outings and what not. while i slog away...

no fair. *sulks*

Whatever the case is, this weekend is june camp! next weekend is k outing with the red angels.

Then my mid term presentation on 11th june. Some big shot Pampers Global head coming from Cincinnati will sit in. I AM STRESSED.

After that, maybe camping at east coast! And a few more birthday parties!

Then the final presentation in first week of July. Before I say byebye to P&G (maybe temporarily)! Depending on my state then, maybe I'd extend for just one more week to make sure everything is done and i leave nothing behind... but a legacy.

But one week is the max because I'd take a week break to celebrate my birthday! July babies rock! More parties!

Then after that it's back to school! And then those kids on exchange would be back!!! (hopefully without the H1N1 flu lol) More class outings!

What do you think of my theory below?

At every point in life, all of us would face 1 constraint.

When we're young, we have energy and time, but we have no money.

When we're working, we have energy and money, but no time.

As we get older, we have time and money, but no energy.

Are you living your life to the fullest?

I feel abit stuck now.

No energy, no money, and no time. What happened?!?!

Lol... this is when you have a responsibility. The more responsibilities, the less of these 3 you would get.

At times like these, I think I should be grateful. =)

Search

2009-05-26T08:23:00.000-07:00

That's one of the many things i've to do at my job. SEARCH.

Today, I learnt that the way people search can mean a lot in Digital Marketing.

I wonder why Internet marketing only takes up like 1 pathetic chapter of our textbooks. And Mobile Marketing is virtually non-existent. When the latter is supposed to be such a big thing in Asia. That's the mismatch.

Anyway, with Wordpress, I get to know how people come to my blog via search engines.

Recently, they searched for the following

1) Hot stuff : "Ben", "Ben Kartono", "Elvin Ng"

2) Information: "how to tell if alfredo sauce has turned bad?", "country erasers"

So, a marketer first defines who visits the site, how they visit it, and why they even click it. Then, a marketer meets these needs by providing exactly what the consumers want.

This is called segmentation by benefits sought.

Beautiful.

But then hor, this is my blog leh. How come nobody searched for "xiaolee" ?!

Chio Bu

2009-05-25T08:53:00.000-07:00

Because the words of different people carry different weight. Across different time.

A few years ago I might have felt quite flattered.

Well now... it's just different.

In ascending order of weightage: a normal guy saying that you're good looking, a normal girl giving you the same compliment, elvin ng/jay chou giving you the same compliment. VS... your bf of 9 years giving you the same compliment.

Yesterday I got a level 1 compliment. Some days ago I got some level 2 compliments. But today, I got the level 4 compliment. haha. that's about enough to make my week. =)

But chio bu is not the word. It's too vulgar in my opinion.

I prefer Pretty girl. Or good-looking girl.

I like "Charming" the best. haha. better still, "mesmerising". a "head-turner". "gorgeous".

Thank you Thank you. You're not the first to think so.

Okae, im getting narcissistic. Coping mechanism in this superficial world.

Back to reality, it's time to level up.

I've met some girls who look really pretty, but when they talk you feel like asking them to shut up immediately because only crap comes out.

There are some girls who are average looking, but they talk and carry themselves so well that... there's a natural grace to them. Finesse, is that the right word?

I want to be the latter. Although I'm still far from it now. Being so blur and emotional and sometimes utterly stupid when it comes to conversations. And i can get real geeky, esp when it comes to work. Oh, and i sneeze too loudly (right?)

lack that... 气质美.

Yup that's what I'm striving for.

Because I am not just a chio bu. =)

Tired

2009-05-24T05:32:00.000-07:00

Had to miss lq's birthday celebration today.

I only have one, and probably stupid reason: I was tired and needed rest at home before the gruelling week starts tomorrow.

One week gone in a blink of an eye.

Work is challenging. Hectic. But it's a good learning journey. I was happier the past week. Just very tired.

This fatigue wouldnt go away no matter how much I sleep.

Went for dinner with the SHG "seniors" yesterday. A pity kaihui and pohjee werent there to bridge the age gap =P. Qiren's baby is really cute and chubby now. So is Gladys'. As usual we had dinner before going to a cafe to chit chat. But I was super tired and then halfway through I felt like I was out of myself.

Have you ever felt like this before?

Vaguely aware of what was happening around me. Everything was just colours, noises. People laughing and talking. But it was all very surreal. Like I was in a dream or something.

But I was at peace. And felt kind of happy, touched, cosy.

Age is taking its toll on me. I wonder how i'm going to survive next week. With the kids camp and the presentation coming up.

Okae. time to rest.

Jokes of the day

2009-05-22T11:30:00.000-07:00

It's the day when we see the fruits of our labour.

Joke 1: I got an A for Accounting II. Xiao Lee must now declare her love for accounting =) Nah. It's because of the bell curve and they dont want people to repeat the course for this last sem. And of course, Practice makes perfect =)

Joke 2: I really got 4.3 for my CGPA. I think I can charge people to predict their GPA alr.

http://xiaolee.wordpress.com/2009/04/08/1057/

One more year officially to get my first class. Which is like quite far alr.

Clear Pass, Promoted to Final Year.

WHAT? FINAL YEAR?

I miss school. But P&G is really a good place to be in. REALLY!

=)

P.S.

2009-05-21T08:05:00.000-07:00

I just heard from prof lewis. He sent a nice email with the loveliest P.S i've ever seen.

p.s. I’ll be overseas from June 1 to 8. During this period, Dr. Benjamin Kartono ( email: XXXXXXX; tel: XXXXXXXX) will serve as an emergency contact.

hahahahahaha.

One hour more.

Random Ramblings

2009-05-20T07:49:00.000-07:00

Mid-week updates =)

I'm starting to like my work. =)

Got to meet my coach, she's a nice lady.

Got to meet my buddy. he's a nice guy.

Got to know a fellow intern from india doing the same project as me.

And my team from all over the world. Philipines and India.

Might be travelling to some countries, Vietnam and Indonesia most probably, to "get my hands dirty". But seems like not a very good time with the H1N1 outbreak.

Starting to appreciate the flexibility. Core office hours from 10am to 3pm =P. Starting to appreciate the diversity.

Some of the guys can be quite cute looking. =)

And the Pampers team is really patient and helpful.

And the fellow interns are a funny bunch. We have our daily online meeting using the office communicator (MSN style!) and the agenda everyday would be "where to go for lunch." =)

yeah. but i am still feeling tired!

today, dearie and i dropped by at Redhill market for a mid week stress-relieving hawker feast.

Appetiser: BBQ chicken wings, 10 satays

Main course: A plate of fried wanton, Fried Oyster Omelette

Side: Meatball soup

Bevarage: Sugar Cane

Total damage: $16.70 for 2 =) And the fat and calories.

But happy. I Love You.

Angry with Career Services and CAO. Their inefficiency can be super irritating.

Today Career Services called me during work to say that i havent submitted my internship documents when i started asking from MARCH so that i could deliver all the paper work early! How many times do i need to repeat? This time round i really sent them a screenshot of what CAO wrote in student link without even wanting to type anything for them. Irritating. Im fed up! As fed up as those who went through the phases 1, 2, 3, 3.1, 3.2 rounds of PA selection.

Then CAO. Even though I'm not one of those kids who emailed them about the announcement of NBS supervisor... 18th may means 18th may. They were the ones who set this deadline for themselves yet they couldnt keep to it. if u are still in the midst, then at least tell us 1 day before that the allocation will be delayed, right? No initiative! irritating. Then i open on 18th may and i get a big shock: xiaolee has no tutor. unnecessary stress for us!

okae. anyway, 20th may, so they were like 2 days late. HMPH. minus marks.

and i got prof lewis.

Okae. the best prof for the work that i'm doing. =)

Unfortunately, not the one that i want. ah.... so sad.

There goes my eye candy again.

Huiqian has been bumping into my eye candy more often than regularly in Raffles Place.

Hai. its okae lar. sacrifice abit of tao hua yun now for better career luck. we cant have best in all worlds.

2 more days to exams. I've lowered my CGPA target to 4.2. it's a coping mechanism.

依依不舍

2009-05-17T07:38:00.000-07:00

Apart from the fact that I'm still very tired,

I am feeling emo now.

Because tmr is Monday.

I suddenly miss school a lot. Minus the exams, of course.

In school, you only need to be accountable for yourself.

Why is it that I can't get out of this negative mindset, try as I might?

I even miss start to miss the AGD days, when I had caijie and a bunch of friendly colleagues who had their own flaws but at least they were physically present for me to consult? Yeah, and lunch time with dearie at raffles city. I wish I could find someone from NBS there. I feel so alone sometimes.

And my NTU supervisor is still not out. How helpful.

Weekend is over. in a blink of an eye.

Time to brace myself for yet another week.

Xiao Lee, can you be more positive?

Yeah... I'm torn between 2 voices.

One that lets me to wallow in self-pity and loneliness.

The other that urges me to be strong, and take this chance to step out into the bigger world.

And even though I know which voice to listen to, I feel pretty disgusted that the voice that I want to ignore seems to get louder and louder.

I think it is a manifestation of my personal weakness. That i feel so insecure in a new place and environment with people who are vastly different from me.

And I feel angry that I want to cry. =(

Okae. the happy things. Mum and sis just came back!! =D

And more happy things to look forward to next week.

Monday: Meet my pillar of strength for dinner.

Tuesday: Meet my fyp mates for dinner at clarke quay.

Wednesday: No tuition at night!

Thursday: One more day to Friday.

Friday: Weekend! (And hopefully, good results)

Okae. That's how it shall be. =) This is the summergally weekly coping mechanism.

Power of the Mind.

Angels and Demons

2009-05-16T09:12:00.000-07:00

okae im a bit random now but im just blurting out whatever ive thought about during the week and wanted to blog about but just havent had the time to. it's a big mess of everything and i think you should just skip this post altogether because it wouldnt make sense.

weekend:

I watched Angels and Demons with Dear.

And a throbbing head.

It was a nice movie. Though I still prefer the book. The story was about the same except for the parachute and the ending part i think. Although I kinda forgot about the book cos i read it so long ago, like in ny? But we were at the second row, so my headache became worse. religion is flawed because people are flawed. =) how true. i dont believe in any god. only people and their strengths. yup. watchable but the book should come first!

Began to understand how precious a weekend can be.

work:

I think after this internship, I wouldn't mind being a housewife.. I was so sleepy I slept from midnight till noon yest. Like so stressed out over... i don't know what. Stressed about so much stuff.

In OB class, they always said that a diverse group needs a longer time to bond, form, norm and storm... and i really got a taste of it during lunch that day with 3 other interns. Muzzafar is from some unpronouncable country near western russia and dunno where. Kaibin is a PRC and speaks english with a prc accent. Sruthi is the only one who speaks english the same way as xiaolee.

example 1

xiaolee: Yup i think we time left. Do you guys want any desserts?

Muzaffar: (face changes colour, frowns) they sell lizards here?!!

example 2:

xiaolee: so which floor of tower B are you on?

kaibin: None

xiaolee: NONE? they made u work in the basement?

sruthi: (laughing) I think it's NINE.

example 3

kaibin: have you tried to use the cockpit system?

muzaffar: (looked at xiaolee and sruthi, confused, turned and smiled at kaibin)

yup okae. Okae. enough of work. I really hope the next few weeks would be better.

I've always expected that this internship would give me a taste of what it's going to be like in the FMCG industry. And if I don't like it, I'd go find sth else to do.

But in actual fact, the company has its own agenda for letting us become part of them too. It's not whether i want to work there anymore, but whether they would let me work there, based on my capability. And that's quite scary perhaps because... i've always been the one choosing. my secondary sch, my jc, my uni course.. and i always got what i chose.

then again, perhaps my choice was already there when i chose to apply for the internship out of the so many.

hai. lets just hope, i've made the right choice, and as usual, i'd be happy with my choice =)

Argh. Im taking too long to get used to stuff and things and places.

yup. that was whiny and weak. Stop it xiaolee.

I hope exams will be over for my man real soon.

I hope i'd be able to start enjoying my work soon.

results out next fri.

i hope i get good results.

im sleepy again. bye.

Critical Success Factors

2009-05-14T07:40:00.000-07:00

They call it the critical success factors.

Essentially some values which they try to inculcate to build their strong corporate culture.

Essentially, the way they brainwash kids with so that they'd continue to be enthusiastic about performing well.

Eg:

1) Reported at 9am and was brought up to office only at 10.30am.

Feeling: IRRITATED.

Mantra: I am a flexible person. I can adapt to changes easily. I welcome changes. I am flexible.

2) Chosen as an official intern in March, but laptop and access cards are still not ready on the first day of work.

Feeling: ANGRY.

Mantra: I am a flexible person. I can adapt to changes easily. I welcome changes. I am flexible. Personal Mastery.

3) First day in office officially and both coach and buddy are not in Singapore

Feeling: TRAGIC.

Mantra: I am a flexible person. I can adapt to changes easily. I welcome changes. I am flexible. Personal Mastery.

4) Boss requested for conference call from Indonesia at 1pm. Rushed for lunch ALONE so that i could be back to receive the call. But call was postponed to next day 8.30AM.

Feeling: Infuriated.

Mantra: I am a flexible person. I can adapt to changes easily. I welcome changes. I am flexible.

That's the cons of working in an environment which is too... flexible. WAY TOO FLEXIBLE.

ARGH.

Irritated, Sad, Angry, Infuriated. in that order.

No one to introduce me to the department and so i had to approach them ON MY OWN or stick to being invisible for the rest of this week til my coach and buddy returns. Okae that was pretty bold on my part and my single achievement for the week. At least I got to talk to some more people other than the secretary.

This is so different from the orientation. Really felt like... crying today. Like... lost, bored, and all the things they taught in school about asking for work is rubbish when you have no comp and everyone's SUPER busy with their own stuff.

OK. I can survive. I can do it. One more day without coach, buddy and laptop.

Tomorrow will be better yeah?

Next week will be better. Hopefully. And why is my ntu supervisor not out yet... I am into my third week alr!!! And I'm the only one from nbs there. but i like my fellow interns alot because we are a really funny group! =) the sad thing is some of them wont be starting till june. There's only me on the 21st floor. =(

OKAE. SMILE SMILE SMILE.

My pillar of strength met up with me for dinner today. I am very happy to have him around. I hope he will get his first class honours! =)

Sometimes, some kind words are all you need to carry on with a smile.

Jia You to everyone!!!!

=DDD

Work

2009-05-13T08:39:00.000-07:00

I wont be recording much about PA here because there are way too many deliverables.

My internship requires 2 major presentations. And my NTU pple need me to submit a 2000 word report and weekly log. AH! i dont have the time! Everyone is evaluating me. P&G for the PPO, and the school.. and i dunno my supervisor yet. I hope i hope i hope... it'd be the prof who teaches brand management. hahaha. and then i'd be the happiest intern alive. =)

This week has been an eye opener. A real eye opener.

1. The diversity. P&G Singapore has 1300 employees thereabout from around 30 countries. And in my intern batch, theres only ONE true blue singaporean. Being the regional office for asia, the singapore general office is even more diverse than anywhere else in asia. I've talked to more philipinos, indians, PRCs, indonesians, australians... omg. the names!

2. The place. another acronym: OMG. The SK-II level is like a shopping mall! and the prestige fragrances. and the pantries! and the meeting rooms. and the relaxation facilities. My office is on the 21st floor, complete with WII, Karaoke, and Usqueeze. =)

3. The culture. The mobility of changing our seats every single day. AH. People are spontaneous. Lots of flexibility. Arrive in office from 9-10am, knock off once u're done with work. Coach, buddy, sponser, resources... all there to help you succeed. =)

Yup. I can go on and on and on.

Unfortunately, i didnt get into SK-II. But, I'm working on a billion dollar brand anyways.

Pampers!

I'll be doing surveys and conducting focus group interviews with babies and toddlers in the asia pacific region. =)

Hahaha. Gotcha.

Unless the babies are cute and smiley. Otherwise please take them as far away as possible from me.

Anyways, my office is on the same floor as Gillette and somthing else. If anyone needs SKII or Gillete or Pampers or Whispers or Pantene or Oral-B or Tide or Hugo Boss/Lacoste/Anna Sui fragrances or one of the 300 brands that P&G make, please inform me. I'll keep a look out for discounts for you! Yes they give pringles and SKII masks out for teabreaks. nah just joking. But i'll really help u keep a look out because they do have some GREAT sales in office!

That's all, for now.

Tired, excited, nervous, stressed. In that order.

New hobby

2009-05-11T07:45:00.000-07:00

The more I see it, the more I think im like ah zhai.

=) because somehow, i understand her loneliness at times. feel it.

Dear said, i need a new hobby.

Actually, i have a lot of hobbies.

Indoors:

I like to shop online. really "window/tab" shopping. Until now my wishlist is always filled but i have yet to buy more than the blouse which i bought with cj. Part of me is scared of overspending. Part of me is scared of getting cheated. haha.

I like to watch "outdated" serials on youtube, basically stuff that have been showed on tv before but i can never go catch every weekly. Like currently im watching ai jiu zhai yi qi starring jiro wang. =)

I like to cut out nice pictures from glossy magazines... haha. but i never really keep them properly. i just like to cut them out for the fun of it. It's been in me since i knew how to hold a pair of scissors. =)

Outdoors (well... not exactly outdoors but... outside of my house... haha):

I like to shop. I have the touchy disorder as described in consumer behavior class. I touch everything i see in shops and displays.

I like to sing. And i used to be from choir about 8 years ago. so i think i can sing quite well.

I like swimming. It's difficult to get me to go down to exercise but once i get there i will do the same style in the same pool for many many laps. I like water.

I like to observe people. What they wear, how they behave, what they say, the relationship among people...

I like to hang out with people I know. and know WELL.

I love watching movies. =) yep... this is my favourite.

I like dancing DDR. Maybe i should get an xbox so that i can ddr at home. hoho.

I love camping. The tents, the smell of the grass, the night breeze, outdoor cooking. It one of the reasons why i joined Guides, and why i love Guiding. =)

so...Picking up a new hobby.

What's stopping me now?

Work aside, it's really courage.

Sometimes, I feel so... not brave.

Like a coward. And the worst thing is, you don't know what u're scared of.

This new hobby im talking about is dancing.

It's bad. Sometimes, I'm proud to say that i can exude all the confidence or even sell my excess self-esteem for a living. Sometimes, I go to the other extreme, feeling absolutely inadequate in every aspect of my self. Maybe i'm really insecure... somehow.

when was the first time i started feeling this way?

I need a new hobby man....

Manicure classes. Cooking classes. French lessons. Pilates. Wateraerobics. Kickboxing. Taekwando. Flower arranging. Tennis lessons. Golf. Toastmasters. Kayaking.

and dancing. any dance. =)

Okae. time to sleep.

nites.

Password-Protected

2009-05-10T10:26:00.000-07:00

Dreams never come true.

I wish someone would be here with me.

=D

2009-05-09T23:06:00.000-07:00

[caption id="attachment_1208" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Anyone going with me?!"][/caption]

爱就宅一起

2009-05-09T09:29:00.000-07:00

=) Jiro is so cute... Those lips...

Heehee.

Did you know that Jiro Wang represents SUMMER out of the 4 seasons?! hahaha... 95 degrees on the Fahrenheit scale.

Hot. Hot. Hot.

如果我变成回忆

2009-05-09T01:42:00.000-07:00

This is a new song in Tank's album which will be released soon.

Quite a touching song.

如果我变成回忆退出了这场生命
留下你坐挨哭泣
我冰冷身体拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你仍还孤独旅行
我会恨自己如此狠心

Finally finished reading Love in the Time of Cholera By Gabriel Garcia Marquez, which i bought about half a year ago! For half a century a man was waiting for his first love who rejected him at the age of 21. Hmm... I thought it would be quite moving but in fact it was not. Love seems to be represented as a kind of.... plague... mebbe thats how the title came about. And the love between them was really... not love to me. Not like the Pearl Harbour/Titanic love. And the whole story was super boring if we only look at the 2 main characters, because nothing much really happened between the 2 of them as they spent 50 years part. What kept me reading were the different types of love that they each experienced in the time away from each other. And towards the end, there was some very poignant fear towards ageing and dying. This, and the song, really got me thinking.

如果我变成回忆... Please be strong. Please don't grieve. Please help me live my life.

When someone says "Don't miss me too much," it's almost always the opposite. Who doesn't want to be remembered? Who doesnt want to have a special place in someone's heart forever? But I guess, when one dies, everything, including the ability to love, vanishes. And that is when the person left behind must be really strong and move on in life, and live each day fruitfully as if he's living it for the one who left earlier. =)

Okae enough about such stuff for today.

I got my first credit card! Am i walking towards an imminent trap? We shall see. =)

Of cosmetics and make-up

2009-05-07T11:21:00.000-07:00

It's the only thing that's keeping me sane for the time being. But I have to hold it until my first month's slogging is rewarded with cold, hard cash.

Shop of the day: Etude House. Don't think their products are much raved about here in Singapore. But the cute girly pinkish packaging... omg!!! But I still went to check out some reviews and turned out that this brand seems to be a real hit in Korea and the US. okae lar... seems like I'm the only sua gu one who happened to just bump into it as a hot seller.

I wish I could understand some Korean. Now my wish list is filled with beautiful stuff. YEAH and I can't read half the things I'm buying. HOW PATHETIC! I'm so going to visit the shop in Korea. Just look at this pics i googled.

Okae regain composure. bimbo go away.

I read it in a magazine: some Taiwanese guys cant stand the fact that most Singaporean girls don't put on makeup when they go out. Name a brand of make up made in Singapore? Difficult. Haha.. I have to admit that I'm one of those lazy ones, who never really take the trouble to create my face of the day...

What's your attitude towards make-up?

To me, make-up is bringing more intense colours rather than concealing. colours, glitter, glam. On the other hand, it shouldnt be ott. Then again, it's difficult to strike the balance, esp in singapore. Like, i go to ntu from jurong west for a 2 hour lecture... anything i put on my face is ott can? hahaha... That's why, girls should all go out to work to show ur pretty made up face for 8 whole hours...

I'm not that kind of girl who must put on 2 layers of sunblock 3 layers of base 4 layers of foundation and a final layer of concealer to cover up every last pore visible. (yeah and considering i'm always running late in the morning to be able to achieve anything near that). But over the years, i realised that my attitude towards make-up has changed tremendously. from the "oh so-fake" attitude to a cosmetic junkie who cant pull herself off from the make-up corner, searchin for stuff that make my eyes bigger than they already are, my lashes thicker than they already are, my pout more kissable than they already are. ie i have confidence in my looks alr, but make-up makes me stand out more. =)

Sometimes, I take a step back and start to wonder what triggered the change, and whether it is for better or for worse. For better because I've learnt not to judge people by the amount/type of make up they put, that not all who put 3-4 layers of powder are vain or stupid or super insecure. For worse because of my compulsive purchase behaviour when it comes to eyeliners and mascaras.

Oh well... the colours which can bring out our youth, dynamism and confidence. Hope to be daring and rich enough to experiment more of them.... =)

Okae i've got tonnes of friends who don't wear any makeup at all, so i must put a DISCLAIMER, that this post is not to say that u all look horrible okae! It has got nothing to do with ANYONE except what xiaolee truly feels about using cosmetic products! =D

hmmm... FYP topic, anyone?

Stuff

2009-05-06T07:58:00.000-07:00

Getting busy.

xiaolee can cook recipe 2: Campbell pasta. This is a seriously difficult dish. Do not attempt if you are not confident.

Buy pasta from ntuc. Skip the sauce if u think u have some in the fridge at home.

At home, cook the pasta according to the instructions on the packet.

Open the fridge and realise that the alfredo sauce has alr gone bad.

Throw the bad sauce away and emo a little.

Take out the campbell soup stashed away for emergency.

Use the can opener to open it.

If the can opener breaks, throw it away and emo a bit.

Find another can opener with the help of your brother.

Pour in the condensed soup, add half a can of water instead of 1 can. (you are making pasta sauce, not pasta soup)

When the sauce is done, throw in the pasta. Simmer for few minutes and serve hot.

that's all for today folks.

Tune in for more recipes in the "xiaolee can cook" series.

xiaolee can cook, so can u.

Bought the maybelline mascara in Feline black. Cat eye mascara. haha. it's a cheaper alternative to the majolica majorca one which i have been eyeing.

Bought a new pair of heels for work. from anna nucci, which was supposedly selling affordable comfy shoes. Buying shoes is the same thing as choosing husband. on first sight, very good... you yearn for nothing else but that pair/man, which/who makes you feel like cinderella. you think its THE shoes/husband that you can depend on for the rest of your life. and then u commit and own that pair of shoes/that man. and then things change. nothing but blisters/pain. and then slowly the soles/the passion wear(s) off and the shoes/man go out of shape. enough said.

: my new shoes

[caption id="attachment_1180" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="random DIY stuff i got from Action City sale long ago. Did it! "][/caption]

Cleaned up my room a bit.

: found an antique while i was cleaning my room! this badge is out of print alr. =)

[caption id="attachment_1185" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="some old passport photos i found. Somebody should really have taught xiaolee how to smile properly. of course over the years i've became more photogenic and pretty. =) "][/caption]

Bought a new dress for work.
Created a new MRT joke! NEW NEW JOKE! copyrighted.

The pig and the rabbit decided to have a race. This time round, the rabbit won the race. Why?

because Joo Koon. (joo=pig in chinese, koon=sleep in hokkien)

I know you are laughing. Careful don't fall off your chair. Okae mebbe you are not laughing.

You are just thinking, stupid lame joker.

And now you're smiling because i can read ur mind. hohoho.

NYGH homecoming on 6 June. I've mixed feelings.

80% of me really want to go. i havent gone back since i collected my o level cert in 2005. And i've lost touch with lots, esp the council people, and those many many high achievers who went all over the world to further their studies. I want to go back to my pretty school and reminisce those good old days...

20% of me is scared. yeah. i don't know about what. haha. my ny days werent really my most glorious days. okae.. they were lar... Okae.. i dunno! im scared that people will rmb my naughty/cui/evil/stupid/selfish times. oh and im scared that people wont rmb me. yeah.

Hope to see my idol. I still rmb her. Don't wish to see... hmm... no one lo. hahaha. Every nanyang girl a respected member of society leh! All of us would have changed alot. and it'd be interesting to see those changes. =)

Preparation

2009-05-04T09:23:00.000-07:00

This hols will be a challenging one.

How wrong to say that chores are non-value added activities. Now that my mum has to spend 6 weeks with my sis at the hosp, there isn't anyone doing the cooking. and im the only woman in the family now. hahaha. but i guess im quite lucky cos my dad can cook quite well (better than my mum) and my bro can cook palatable stuff.

But still, it's time for me to enter the kitchen and cook some real stuff. Menu for today is bitter gourd fried rice. HAHA. Fried rice is about the only thing i can cook. for (fill in the blank with left-over stuff on the table) fried rice:

Preheat the pan, add abit of oil.

When oil is hot, throw in some garlic/onion (sliced) (can skip this step if lazy to chop stuff)

Put in the cooked rice.

Crack an egg (or two) and beat the egg in a bowl, then throw it into the rice.

Stir and fry. Throw in the left over food. (Mine is bitter gourd for today).

Add abit of light soy sauce and serve hot.

Okae...

I think this is pretty useless unless u can cook the leftover dishes in the first place. LOL. but the bitter gourd was done up by my bro. Yes i'm one of those rare weirdings who adore bitter gourd. =P

I'm still a bread and campbell soup person.

Other than cooking, driving is another thing that huiqian recently reminded me about, sth that i could do this hols. After dumping 2.5k of my money into the lessons and failing thrice ..... well... Never in my life have i failed the same test THREE times. The stupid things i do on the road. Hai. Think the failures had been too much, even though i really enjoyed my time behind the wheels. Unlike most people who fail in the circuits,for the three times i failed i had perfect circuit records, and all the demerit points on the road... This probably goes to show that i shouldnt be on the public road to endanger the lives of others. However, now that my mum is not at home that often alr and there are 2 cars idle in the house, something keeps urging me to go take the test again. But everything spells money. How I wish someone can sponser all my driving lessons.... 2.5k was really a big fortune for an 18 year old kid. Then again, I think I'm too scared of another failure to even try. ARGH.

This is called 烦恼. The stuff that makes ur hair turn white thinking and thinking and thinking.

Updates

2009-05-03T03:09:00.000-07:00

Hope to get 2A-s at least and maximum of 1 B+.

Thurs: Hibiki had rather good food and the staff was quite friendly. haha... patient enough to entertain shawn. but the variety of food was pretty limited. Pork belly with tomato will always be my favourite! Then I had my first Andersons icecream... will miss them when they go tioman. =( here are the pics which can go public. some of them are quite bad cos im a noob with adjusting the settings lar.

Cats love fish. =)

fri: went to visit sis, who will be at kk for 6 weeks. sian. pj and cheeyun will normally be the ones to think up weird things to do at my house but they are both elsewhere on the globe. My sis's has a weird case of a tumour inside the cheek bone and she just had a surgery to remove it, but still need 6 wks of observation to test if there's going to be any side effects. I hope she gets well soon. If not it does get scary at times when i have such a big room to myself. Pyjamas party?

KK has also stepped up on its precautionary measures. Only one visitor at a time. on may day, we missed the visiting hour at 12-2pm cos we went to buy balloon for her. KK staff denied entry even though we tried to negotiate for 10 minutes of visiting time! Bleah. and then I did something quite naughty. And we got to visit our sis in the end, thanks to a cleaner. hope we werent caught on the cctv. Okae... lesson learnt is not to miss the visiting hours.

Okae eat more veggie and step up on ur immune system! Esp those at overseas exchange now. Take good care lor! xiaolee misses all of u.....

Sat: tuition. visited sis at kk, shg. And 8 of us had badminton at clementi after shg! NICE workout!

Resolution of the week: I'm going to stop visiting facebook these days because i've been doing really naughty things like sending everyone I overtook on the Bejewel leaderboard a smack talk. So bored that I created a quiz called "How well do you know xiaolee?". Seems like everyone who took the quiz knows me inside out. This is impossible.

Plans for sunday:
Tuition, Give my man some moral support for his upcoming exams, pack up my exams stuff, and beat huiqian at Bejewled Blitz.

2 more days.

Shaken Not Stirred

Back again

Slow

The Random

Is it that hard?

人質

I don't want to work.

Aftermath.

Ten Reasons Why I Hate Projects

Thank you!

生病了

share your dreams

the smoky lights

Self-Evaluation

Outsourcing.

This week

This is a bad week

The Abuse of "Excuse Me"

Not a good day.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow.

Once every three weeks

Tired

unmotivated

Of goals and purposes.

End of Week. =)

100+ things about my love.

You are not fit to talk manners with me.

Top 10 Presentation Do's and Dont's

Week 4 Hell

Breathless

Personality

An attempt.

An idiotic conversation.

You're a Very Very Beautiful Woman

Marketers lead.

Week 2

Strategy

feels sucky

xiaolee doesn't understand...

My Friendly Neighbourhood Hairdressers

Of eye-candies.

Of Movies

Of timetables.

Anti-social

On this game

Heartland girl in Heartland mall

The Girl Who Can't Keep Afloat

Bintan

Spontaneous.

Its 5am

做你的男人

Fuggly Accountant

Will not follow blindly

How I spend my vacation (Part 3)

How I spend my Vacation (Part 2)

How I spend my vacation (Part 1)

Of high achievers

My 21st - Updated

First Celebration and other fun

Side note: I still dont like Fish n Co because the food sucks and they spoil the fish and prawns all the time with all the OIL. But one thing redeeming is always their service attitude and enthusiasm, be it at the Glass House or in JP. Really makes it a nice place for gathering.

He's just not that into you

Log: 3rd day of vacation

Projecting

The Last Lap

Chop off my head.

Preparation

My lovely weekend. Transformers, SHG, HZ's party

Reflections

Michael Jackson

Feel like starting a professional blog

SHG outing and weekend.

shopping

Pre-21, and other random

Reflections

Quick Press

Sleepy

Still random.

Disjointed thoughts.

Tired.

Updates

如果我变成回忆退出了这场生命
留下你坐挨哭泣
我冰冷身体拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你仍还孤独旅行
我会恨自己如此狠心